“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

Now Ruburt used his poetry also to exert independence from his mother—which implied, he thought, a certain kind of rejection of Marie. These attitudes cause you to try to maintain some solitude while believing it is almost impossible to achieve, and so this of course is your experience.

(9:49.)...There is more here.... Give us a moment. I am now not speaking simply of personal events from your childhoods, or saying that you are mechanically operating now in certain fashions because of them. I am saying that your experiences led you to certain sets of beliefs. In school, ordinary society in adulthood—these were all scheduled toward outward activity. You have gone your own ways, but in some cases you are still hampered by old beliefs. People will not be personally hurt if you honestly state your position. In fact, your ambiguity puts them in an odd position, for you say one thing and mean another. They can feel the difference. When Frank asks Ruburt frankly—if you will excuse the pun (amused)—“Are you working? Am I bothering you?” and Ruburt smiles sweetly and says “No, that is fine,” then Frank is faced with Ruburt’s smiling countenance, while his intuitions tell him something else entirely.

Your working men will be gone. Ruburt has gone to extraordinary lengths to cut out distractions, among other things, until he realized that he went too far.

In previous periods of improvement, Ruburt often worked nights, because he then avoided the issue—or, rather, took care of it in another manner.

Ruburt’s body is becoming more alive. You have been, in some respects, psychically as tired as he was physically. As things now stand, his body is spasmodically jolting itself into new life, and responsiveness. As it does you will psychically follow suit. Your love for each other is coming to new fruition, and that, sensed by each of you, will give you an even greater impetus, for Ruburt creatively and physically; and for you this will bring about real breakthroughs in your painting and in your writing.

Ruburt’s room is highly important for many reasons in your home, and he is moving about more naturally.

Now: further illumination: when Ruburt asks you if you are tired five times in an hour, he means, “I love you. I am sorry that you must go to such extra work during the day, on my behalf. I hope that it does not tire you out. I cannot express my sorrow that I put you to so many chores that I should be able to help you with.” But he does not express his love on such occasions—only his concern. That should sound familiar.

You each saw a program about animal motion. The action of the eyes is intimately connected with the speed and mobility of the body—intimately connected, for that matter, with all organs. Naturally, then, Ruburt’s eyes are changing. A rather usual error would be to treat the eyes through different glasses, thereby locking them into a transitory phase. You should have received enough evidence, and fine evidence thus far, to show you that there is nothing intrinsically wrong with Ruburt’s eyes, per se. As he changes his motions they will acclimate. The unevenness of vision is the result of the entire body changes, shiftings of jaw pressure, release of ligaments, and an entire body reorientation.

The ligaments do their utmost, releasing spasmodically to the utmost at times in an exercising capacity, then go back to a position that is operationally practical, while representing an improvement over an earlier position. Therefore you have a period of instability. Ruburt experienced that with the sudden fast arm motion (earlier today), but his eyes were not used to moving that fast.

You could not settle for less. The same applies to Ruburt and his writing, and those are the challenges you have undertaken. By their nature they do not give you niches in which you can rest. You are creating an art that exists now, though you cannot see it, but only sense it at times.

A point: Ruburt’s condition involves a complete reorientation. The working men were a shock treatment of a kind. People often fast because it shocks the system, sometimes beneficially. Normal orientation is disrupted. Such shock treatments often jolt your belief systems. That is why they are sometimes effective. Retreats do the same thing. Often when you work, they give you a perspective. In that light, I have a suggestion only, even considering it will be beneficial, whether or not you follow it.