“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

Now—good evening.

Now Ruburt used his poetry also to exert independence from his mother—which implied, he thought, a certain kind of rejection of Marie. These attitudes cause you to try to maintain some solitude while believing it is almost impossible to achieve, and so this of course is your experience.

(9:49.)...There is more here.... Give us a moment. I am now not speaking simply of personal events from your childhoods, or saying that you are mechanically operating now in certain fashions because of them. I am saying that your experiences led you to certain sets of beliefs. In school, ordinary society in adulthood—these were all scheduled toward outward activity. You have gone your own ways, but in some cases you are still hampered by old beliefs. People will not be personally hurt if you honestly state your position. In fact, your ambiguity puts them in an odd position, for you say one thing and mean another. They can feel the difference. When Frank asks Ruburt frankly—if you will excuse the pun (amused)—“Are you working? Am I bothering you?” and Ruburt smiles sweetly and says “No, that is fine,” then Frank is faced with Ruburt’s smiling countenance, while his intuitions tell him something else entirely.

Your time will now shortly be your own. You must manage it with conscious decisions, even if you go on trial basis with different methods, working toward what suits you best. It is not the method you latch upon that is important, but that you insist upon making conscious decisions, and taking conscious control of your time. In the past you felt and believed that this was not possible, and so your attempts failed, largely because you were afraid—overly afraid —of hurting other peoples’ feelings, and somewhat afraid that your desire for solitude would cut you off too much from others.

The body changes constantly, and there are rhythms of the soul, so that some people die young. Their desire is no longer with the earth. Others live to an old age. Now your desire has ebbed and flowed through psychic deaths and births. You have changed individually and jointly far more than you realize.

Ruburt’s body is becoming more alive. You have been, in some respects, psychically as tired as he was physically. As things now stand, his body is spasmodically jolting itself into new life, and responsiveness. As it does you will psychically follow suit. Your love for each other is coming to new fruition, and that, sensed by each of you, will give you an even greater impetus, for Ruburt creatively and physically; and for you this will bring about real breakthroughs in your painting and in your writing.

(Loudly:)Now I could go on for some time.

Now: further illumination: when Ruburt asks you if you are tired five times in an hour, he means, “I love you. I am sorry that you must go to such extra work during the day, on my behalf. I hope that it does not tire you out. I cannot express my sorrow that I put you to so many chores that I should be able to help you with.” But he does not express his love on such occasions—only his concern. That should sound familiar.

Now driving, riding, is beneficial, for it artificially allows the eyes horizons of distance, and large areas of focus. He is not moving that fast bodily, but his eyes are newly accustomed to faster motion. Earlier, the eyes’ motion fit the bodily stance. He only looked downward when he walked. When he sat, he moved his entire head. The eyes, therefore, have become unsynchronized in that regard, and are learning more natural motion. He was not aware of the difference before.

The changing jaw pressures, the releasing of tension there, altered the sinuses and the ears. Those passages had become tight. He was used to that. All of this now is changing to a healthful condition. This is difficult to explain. Before, there was a sinus drainage backup or buildup, caused by tension. I will put this as simply as possible. That buildup, caused by tension, “caused crystallizations,” or deposits, that toughened the tissues. This was more or less equally deposited in the head area, and tissues of the face.

I do not want to overemphasize such processes of the past, however, but only what is being done now as the healing processes continue. As things stand, I believe he is headed for some vital periods of relaxation. He should be able to copy an hour or so a day, but do not push that issue. It will follow naturally.

You could not settle for less. The same applies to Ruburt and his writing, and those are the challenges you have undertaken. By their nature they do not give you niches in which you can rest. You are creating an art that exists now, though you cannot see it, but only sense it at times.

And now I bid you a fond good evening.