“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

When you were a boy and went off by yourself to draw, your mother often acted rejected. She was pleased—with your talent, per se, but she was jealous of you. At times you felt as a child that painting, or rather drawing, hurt her, and that also she might retaliate by withholding her support in other areas. You also used the drawing and your talent to some degree as a method of exerting your own independence from her oftentimes smothering love. You were told in so many words that it was selfish of you to spend so much time by yourself, for often even when you were with Loren (my younger brother), for example, you carried a circle of your own intent about you.

You live through desire, and behind all desire there is love—love of being what you are, and love of being part of the fabric of existence that you know.

Ruburt’s body is becoming more alive. You have been, in some respects, psychically as tired as he was physically. As things now stand, his body is spasmodically jolting itself into new life, and responsiveness. As it does you will psychically follow suit. Your love for each other is coming to new fruition, and that, sensed by each of you, will give you an even greater impetus, for Ruburt creatively and physically; and for you this will bring about real breakthroughs in your painting and in your writing.

Now: further illumination: when Ruburt asks you if you are tired five times in an hour, he means, “I love you. I am sorry that you must go to such extra work during the day, on my behalf. I hope that it does not tire you out. I cannot express my sorrow that I put you to so many chores that I should be able to help you with.” But he does not express his love on such occasions—only his concern. That should sound familiar.