“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

It is difficult to know where to begin, but we will start with your joint beliefs: (a) that you need solitude a good deal of the day in which to work; (b) your definite belief jointly that this solitude is almost impossible to achieve. Those two beliefs are very important, and put you in a quandary. You never seem jointly to satisfy yourselves with any method or program or routine that works—in other words, that gives you peace of mind.

Why is it that you are so afraid of hurting peoples’ feelings in that regard? There is another belief here, then. You both believe (a) that people will not understand, and (b) that they will feel rejected, and (c) that they will reject you, and you will be left quite alone in the solitude you thought you wanted.

(9:49.)...There is more here.... Give us a moment. I am now not speaking simply of personal events from your childhoods, or saying that you are mechanically operating now in certain fashions because of them. I am saying that your experiences led you to certain sets of beliefs. In school, ordinary society in adulthood—these were all scheduled toward outward activity. You have gone your own ways, but in some cases you are still hampered by old beliefs. People will not be personally hurt if you honestly state your position. In fact, your ambiguity puts them in an odd position, for you say one thing and mean another. They can feel the difference. When Frank asks Ruburt frankly—if you will excuse the pun (amused)—“Are you working? Am I bothering you?” and Ruburt smiles sweetly and says “No, that is fine,” then Frank is faced with Ruburt’s smiling countenance, while his intuitions tell him something else entirely.

He thinks “I must be wrong. If Jane didn’t want to talk she would have said so,” for Frank is not used to trusting his own intuitions. People are not that easily hurt by honesty. Your beliefs make it very difficult for you to achieve your solitude. While you desire it and feel it necessary, you also to some extent are afraid of it, lest it cut you off too much from your fellows.

There may be times in working hours when someone comes, and you do feel like seeing them. That is all right. Most of the time, however, you are not honest. You say yes when you mean no. This only serves to reinforce your beliefs that it is impossible to maintain your privacy, and you feel then less in control of your own time.

Your feelings and beliefs that you were not have caused difficulties, and of course your experience.

People are reborn in themselves time and time again. There is more than one adulthood in one life. You are, all in all, using your earthly time well, shoving into it birth after birth. There are accelerations that occur, or that do not occur, by which people renew themselves. They shed old beliefs as snakes shed skins, and they literally begin new existences. You are doing this.

A point: Ruburt’s condition involves a complete reorientation. The working men were a shock treatment of a kind. People often fast because it shocks the system, sometimes beneficially. Normal orientation is disrupted. Such shock treatments often jolt your belief systems. That is why they are sometimes effective. Retreats do the same thing. Often when you work, they give you a perspective. In that light, I have a suggestion only, even considering it will be beneficial, whether or not you follow it.