“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(Further, my urge toward doing my best work comes at an age when I feel that I should be doing my best work. When I started painting, I was appalled to discover my ignorance. I’ve spent years trying to learn. The urge to learn, perhaps overdone, may be one of the Nebene characteristics, [and as an aside I thoroughly wish the Nebene character did not exist.] But regardless of that, I didn’t think my wish to excel in my chosen field necessarily a poor one. I was willing to spend the time necessary to master painting. Each one has been a trial. The last year has been very productive as far as learning goes, and I’m at the point where I expect it to begin paying rich dividends. It also seems that this point coincides with a time of trial for Jane and me, as witness these deleted sessions.

There is no doubt that he began to feel that his every creative act had to pay off financially. Better that than have you tied to that job at Artistic for any longer a time. This put you directly on the spot. He wanted you to do your thing, at the same time that the financial pressure grows. Yet it was good that you left the job when you did.