“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

Ruburt’s feelings were largely directed against the parent. He was not encouraged, but discouraged from expressing normal anger. He was afraid of his mother’s wrath. You know those conditions.

The Nebene characteristics, now creatively used, then also mitigated against Ruburt’s easy expression of such feelings, and he did tie up some characteristics of Nebene with his mother’s scorn. He is not worried so much that you have not made a great financial success of your art. He is ashamed of the following feelings:

We are bringing some beliefs out in to the open, yours as well as Ruburt’s. You identified in many respects with your father, though often you felt forced to take your mother’s part. You were, and to some extent are, resentful of women, and would not have married a woman who bore you children.

You would not be shunted aside as your mother shunted your father. You would not be forced to work as he did, and waste his creativity, so you chose a wife who would make no such demands—apart from other reasons. We are picking up one level here.

In his own way your father was saying “Since you do not trust my creativity I will deny you its benefits, even if I deny myself its benefits”—this to your mother; and you picked up a taboo: you could make money on art as long as you felt it was not really (underlined) creative—that is, commercial. But you would keep good work to yourself and not sell it. So Ruburt did not accept any of your answers.

Were you not selling your paintings to spite him or yourself or your mother? If you did not want to do portraits, why accept commissions? Say no. Give us a moment. (Pause.) His unspoken anger grew. He is pleased with my book. He was always deeply grateful for your part in Seth Speaks, and in the sessions. Your later, better communication and rapport made matters worse, for his unexpressed feelings seemed then completely unjustified, and his fear of hurting you grew stronger.