“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

The Nebene characteristics, now creatively used, then also mitigated against Ruburt’s easy expression of such feelings, and he did tie up some characteristics of Nebene with his mother’s scorn. He is not worried so much that you have not made a great financial success of your art. He is ashamed of the following feelings:

You would not be shunted aside as your mother shunted your father. You would not be forced to work as he did, and waste his creativity, so you chose a wife who would make no such demands—apart from other reasons. We are picking up one level here.

On the same level: With Ruburt’s background he felt no man would support him, yet wanted to be supported. It would prove he was being cherished. The part-time job on your part was of course a compromise, but loving you, he felt it was at the expense of your creative output and purposes.

(A thought: I now realize that Jane put the same interpretation on her own work—namely, the psychic work. It took me years to learn that she regarded her work in the psychic field—and the time and energy involved—as aside from her main creative goal, which is to write “straight” literature that is also art.)

There is no doubt that he began to feel that his every creative act had to pay off financially. Better that than have you tied to that job at Artistic for any longer a time. This put you directly on the spot. He wanted you to do your thing, at the same time that the financial pressure grows. Yet it was good that you left the job when you did.

In his own way your father was saying “Since you do not trust my creativity I will deny you its benefits, even if I deny myself its benefits”—this to your mother; and you picked up a taboo: you could make money on art as long as you felt it was not really (underlined) creative—that is, commercial. But you would keep good work to yourself and not sell it. So Ruburt did not accept any of your answers.