“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

He also had a belief, quite contradictory, in the unworthiness, now, of his being. This was accepted originally in this life, but also for other reasons from the past, from his mother.

The idea of money also had conflicting connotations. His father had money and was useless—according to early beliefs received from his mother. The father was also, with money now, sexually promiscuous, according to those beliefs.

The idea reversed itself—highly important. It was always there.

The belief in basic unworthiness was still present, however. Now give us time.

For a while there was a severe crisis, which passed, when he had difficulty writing, even, and we have discussed this, the conflict of images. When that was resolved the creative breakthrough was possible, and the resulting financial gains.

It was never, except for the time mentioned, the writing self that Ruburt distrusted, but he feared for the worthiness of his being. The writing self was obviously a part of his being, and so justified it.

You see, he was afraid that he moved too fast for his own good, that to move too fast was irresponsible. He must understand that the basic belief mentioned is a faulty belief, projected upon reality, and not a picture of it. That is one belief that he has not been able to separate himself from.

He has used it therefore as a counterpoint that he does not need. The belief was generated in his childhood, but it was always the underside of the opposite belief in his abilities. If he had not trusted his abilities so much in his particular way, he could not have felt the other freely-spontaneous portions so threatening. Do you follow me?