“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

Your mother realizes when she is pulling emotional blackmail on you, and recognizes when you come, willingly or unwillingly. The situation’s roots lie so in the past, and so pervade the present, that practically little can be changed without the greatest efforts. She knows you come out of obligation. That is like a slap in the face that she must tolerate, and because of her own actions and stress laid upon what was right and proper at the expense of true feelings.

Your mother is quite shrewd however, and has grown these years. In the past she would have been quite able to face and handle everyone’s honesty, and honesty would have been far kinder. So the true love and compassion goes crying, while you are forced to express an exterior love and compassion many times.

Now apart from that, Ruburt has his own feelings, which are somewhat exaggerated, but he also usually tries to disregard them emotionally. He says “I overreact to Rob’s mother,” and intellectually then says “that is silly,” but he never allows himself to experience the feelings themselves. He does not want to hurt you. He does not want things to be unpleasant.

Yesterday he allowed some of these feelings to arise only because he was so miserable. (While we were in Sayre; Jane was doing the washing; mother was cooking dinner, etc.) He remembered you and the pendulum, and having none there instead allowed submerged feelings up. You should know what they were. (Jane told me about some of them at the time; which I thought an advancement.) He was scandalized and outraged. Sundays were the days he could not escape his mother. There was no school, no excuses to get out. It was a day of encounters with her—her two-hour bath, the preparation of meals, and the wild hope that he could escape after supper for a few hours.

Fifteen years of that at one end of the scale, he thought, and ten or fifteen in the middle with your mother on Sundays. His loyalty as you know is binding. If he thought she had been a great mother to you then your Jane’s feelings would not be so strong.