“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

There is some envy. You did not say that you intended to devote yourself to your own painting, and this should be verbalized. The family compromises began long ago, out of a misguided sense of sympathy, and now to some extent or another will continue. Here you are caught in a compromise of emotions. Ruburt feels this particularly strongly, because he is so sensitive over such relationships to begin with. The situation however is such that almost any clear emotion is automatically denied expression, shunted aside and often replaced completely by an opposite—all under the guise of the idea of (in quotes) “being good and understanding.”

Help given resentfully is little help. It does not help the giver or the receiver to any strong degree, and may in fact harm both. Help given spontaneously out of love is the only kind of real help to giver or receiver, and yet this important kind of help is often denied expression because of the inner resentments.

Your mother is quite shrewd however, and has grown these years. In the past she would have been quite able to face and handle everyone’s honesty, and honesty would have been far kinder. So the true love and compassion goes crying, while you are forced to express an exterior love and compassion many times.

Ruburt felt “Here was another ranter and raver, another tyrant in skirts, taking my free day of the week.” Now. He felt better physically when he realized the feelings at that point, and when even through a reproachful silence he expressed them. When they returned he felt them again. Then they vanished again.

He would not though, you see, express those feelings to you.

(9:45. True, Jane didn’t express those feelings to me in those terms, but she let me know she was quite upset, etc. Resume at 9:52.)