“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

Now, good evening.

Now. Up to a certain point compromise can be a beneficial reaction. Beyond that point it can turn against you. The compromise of your job therefore was beneficial to a point. Ruburt feared that the point had been reached beyond which you could not afford to go, while still maintaining those ideas, ideals and goals that were your own.

This is the fear that Ruburt felt for you. Now. Your own ideas and goals are worthy ones, and yours for a reason. They have within them the power to develop and mature. It was known, then, that you would leave before you gave notice, unconsciously perceived.

There is some envy. You did not say that you intended to devote yourself to your own painting, and this should be verbalized. The family compromises began long ago, out of a misguided sense of sympathy, and now to some extent or another will continue. Here you are caught in a compromise of emotions. Ruburt feels this particularly strongly, because he is so sensitive over such relationships to begin with. The situation however is such that almost any clear emotion is automatically denied expression, shunted aside and often replaced completely by an opposite—all under the guise of the idea of (in quotes) “being good and understanding.”

Now apart from that, Ruburt has his own feelings, which are somewhat exaggerated, but he also usually tries to disregard them emotionally. He says “I overreact to Rob’s mother,” and intellectually then says “that is silly,” but he never allows himself to experience the feelings themselves. He does not want to hurt you. He does not want things to be unpleasant.

Ruburt felt “Here was another ranter and raver, another tyrant in skirts, taking my free day of the week.” Now. He felt better physically when he realized the feelings at that point, and when even through a reproachful silence he expressed them. When they returned he felt them again. Then they vanished again.

Allowed their mobility, feelings are beneficial. They replace each other, they ebb and flow. (Louder, humorously, reaching forward to tap me on the foot:) Now do you want any more personal material?

Now give us a moment. I would like you to have several Sumari sessions together. You can arrange this any way you like—in the place of one regular session, for example.

Now. I am going to end our session. Ruburt is concerned because you are tired.

Now. There are several reasons.

There are several things you do not understand. I have not explained them. (Pause.) It could be Pinet (spelled). Also add a date: 1660. Now. There are a series of steps of stone, leading to a large building. Inside sculptors are working. Leo (my phonetic interpretation) is not there. There is a man vastly interested in the idea of coloring sculptures—the statues.

Now take your break or end the session.