“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

Now. First of all, our private session...You did an excellent job of recognizing the Nebene characteristics in yourself, and changing the nature of their direction. They did at one time operate in a perfectionist kind of demand that Ruburt be perfect physically. That was different for example than an ordinary, less charged wish for his complete recovery.

We have not discussed the hidden Nebene-like characteristics of Ruburt’s personality. They are, as Nebene’s were, the result of a comparatively narrow, rigid focus, conscientiously embarked upon, and carried the same kind of restrictive “holy cause” charge.

They were meant to regulate creativity, as Nebene’s characteristics were. In Ruburt’s case that portion of the personality was to be a caretaker. These characteristics were also brought to activity in response to your own Nebene tendencies. The restrictions were thought to be ways of protecting creativity and ability.

You met these aspects in yourself and were able to identify the characteristics, and therefore deal with them. Ruburt has found that more difficult. This afternoon, and at various times, he has been able to isolate certain series of thoughts and feelings, and identify them as restrictive. Before he simply acquiesced to then, and was not able to perceive them as troublesome habitual patterns. These patterns lead quite predictably to moods of powerlessness and restriction.

In this life the early background meant that Ruburt’s writing was done in the face of great distractions. He learned to turn them off. Now give us a moment.... (9:55). It is important that when he recognizes such patterns now, as he is beginning to, that he communicate them to you (as Jane did after supper tonight), until he gets used to handling them alone. He trusts your common sense, and such a measure will insure that the habitual mood reactions are cut short.

They were noticeable today precisely because he had enough peace of mind in the last few days so that comparisons could be made. I will give you more about the origin of these characteristics. For now I simply want Ruburt to learn to recognize them. They rose in this life at least in response to events that do not now exist. The possibility of his not using his creativity in this world no longer exists. The characteristics were meant to insure that he use his ability. Then, left alone, they would fall away. They have lasted because their nature was not understood, and Ruburt habitually kept them in consciousness.

He knew he had access to an amazing amount of energy, but pretended that he did not so that all the energy available would go into the effort to use his abilities properly. It was the correlation between the Nebene characteristics and Ruburt’s Nebene-like characteristics that helped keep affairs stirred up for some time.

Each of you trusted the same kind of characteristics in the other, to keep you where you thought you should be. In this life Ruburt saw those same characteristics in Father Ryan, where repression was used to keep him in the church. These characteristics were necessary in the situation as given, until Ruburt learned the nature of the self, and could begin to trust it. With the belief that he can trust the self, the creative self, the other characteristics become unnecessary, for you cannot force creativity.

Apartment 4 then represents old beliefs, both literal and symbolic at once then. Ruburt, getting rid of old rugs, throws out old beliefs. In so doing he reinforces a sense of power over both inner habits and the physical environment.

In Ruburt’s particular case, now, one set of beliefs led to a corollary set of physical beliefs about his body

The two sets collaborated each other quite automatically. Any lessening of beliefs in either area would be reflected in the other. Both sets have to be dealt with, therefore. Now you have other sets of quite positive beliefs also working for you, and luckily these will often help shake a harmful belief off balance. Ruburt’s books are doing well. Financially he is doing well. Both of these areas help work against the sense of powerlessness that was tied up in the troublesome beliefs.

If a series of troublesome beliefs become so strong however, then the positive sets become less effective. In Ruburt’s case however success in work does mitigate against the negative beliefs. In the past the balance of success versus failure in his eyes was so tipped at the failure end that he took but a mere breather of relief, then plunged ahead again with the same desperation. Hence, beginning each new book, he tightened his controls. Hardly any of what you both have learned, was conscious then, however. The same should not occur, now.

I am not speaking merely in financial terms either, though since Ruburt is dealing directly with the world through his creative work, then money and reputation have become a symbol of success, that is basically creative. Feeling younger automatically made him more pleased with his success, then.

While he was hiding much of this was relatively impossible. Now you are also being encouraged to develop your own spontaneity with Ruburt, in a cause in which you believe heartily. As mentioned, coming over here (Apartment 5) meant that he was finally willing to confront his feelings about your relationship. The other apartment now, then, represents isolation, where when he was running away it represented independence.

His physical condition had been so poor however that rising alone, he had that mood in any case to face. The anticipation of surprising you did help him conquer it to some degree. An alternate suggestion is for each of you to rise very early, well before the normal working day. While you are typing this would be workable. I am offering suggestions here, but overall I recommend that Ruburt maintain so many hours, and feel free after that to indulge in those impulses that he will now be more and more aware of.