“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

Now. First of all, our private session...You did an excellent job of recognizing the Nebene characteristics in yourself, and changing the nature of their direction. They did at one time operate in a perfectionist kind of demand that Ruburt be perfect physically. That was different for example than an ordinary, less charged wish for his complete recovery.

They were noticeable today precisely because he had enough peace of mind in the last few days so that comparisons could be made. I will give you more about the origin of these characteristics. For now I simply want Ruburt to learn to recognize them. They rose in this life at least in response to events that do not now exist. The possibility of his not using his creativity in this world no longer exists. The characteristics were meant to insure that he use his ability. Then, left alone, they would fall away. They have lasted because their nature was not understood, and Ruburt habitually kept them in consciousness.

He knew he had access to an amazing amount of energy, but pretended that he did not so that all the energy available would go into the effort to use his abilities properly. It was the correlation between the Nebene characteristics and Ruburt’s Nebene-like characteristics that helped keep affairs stirred up for some time.

Your own behavior with him has been excellent, and highly reinforcing. The love-making in particular must be encouraged, and it arouses your own spontaneity as well as his. Several advances have been made, all with your help. His inner self-image is changing. The morning mood is not nearly as glum. He has even smiled, and some physical improvements have been noticed.

You can help by encouraging him to remember that his body does have the capacity to do better now. He is beginning to realize it, but that should be reinforced in the suggestions given. I do recommend both morning and evening suggestions with the pendulum.

In that stage then, when he tackles a room for example, the fear that he will not be able to work, or want to, becomes conscious, with guilty feelings. Now this is to the good. Often a simple discussion with you of any such episode will clear the issue for him, where before in his secrecy he would hide it even from himself.

He is not feeling all of those impulses at once, but handling so much at a time consciously. Theoretically, he should feel free to work whenever he feels like it, for his own strong creativity will see that it is used.

Practically, at this stage of the game some system of time is a good policy, even while within it full freedom of thought, and day-dreaming, must be allowed. This should not be thought of as a bargaining with the self, or as an obsession, but instead as a practical method of dealing with a present set of conditions. When the time is come, there will be no conflicts with physical activity, for example, and/or work, for he will have put his priority where he wants it freely, consciously deciding to do so.

In Ruburt’s particular case, now, one set of beliefs led to a corollary set of physical beliefs about his body

If a series of troublesome beliefs become so strong however, then the positive sets become less effective. In Ruburt’s case however success in work does mitigate against the negative beliefs. In the past the balance of success versus failure in his eyes was so tipped at the failure end that he took but a mere breather of relief, then plunged ahead again with the same desperation. Hence, beginning each new book, he tightened his controls. Hardly any of what you both have learned, was conscious then, however. The same should not occur, now.

I want to make this clear because you will then be able to project such influences, and see how they can be used in other areas. For example, while he was convinced—and he was—that he looked more than his age, and was unattractive, then the time element made him push even harder for success. He saw himself older, and in the light of that his success was not enough.

I am not speaking merely in financial terms either, though since Ruburt is dealing directly with the world through his creative work, then money and reputation have become a symbol of success, that is basically creative. Feeling younger automatically made him more pleased with his success, then.

While he was hiding much of this was relatively impossible. Now you are also being encouraged to develop your own spontaneity with Ruburt, in a cause in which you believe heartily. As mentioned, coming over here (Apartment 5) meant that he was finally willing to confront his feelings about your relationship. The other apartment now, then, represents isolation, where when he was running away it represented independence.

His physical condition had been so poor however that rising alone, he had that mood in any case to face. The anticipation of surprising you did help him conquer it to some degree. An alternate suggestion is for each of you to rise very early, well before the normal working day. While you are typing this would be workable. I am offering suggestions here, but overall I recommend that Ruburt maintain so many hours, and feel free after that to indulge in those impulses that he will now be more and more aware of.

When he gains confidence this will not be necessary and the hours should be used as a framework. He should discuss his feelings clearly with you about those hours, and if he finds himself scrambling to meet them and so forth.