“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

He took these for himself, and also in his own way for you, feeling that when he began to “make it” you would also be freer to do your thing.

He is now reassured enough to drop the disciplinary measures. He thought previously that Eleanor and Dick would be a means, and there was a period from the time when you met them, until now, when for him everything was critical. The carrot was out before the horse. The promise of where he wanted to be. These are just short phrases.

He believes now that he is in a pretty fair position, one he can happily accept creatively and financially. He has also learned along the way. It was not really great wealth, but some acceptable framework of financial security he was after, and some assurance that his books would bring him this, along with the freedom of creativity as he understood it.

There was some resentment against you, for he could not accept what he considered as a sacrifice on your part in jobs throughout your life, and yet he was angry because you would not do, he thought, what he had done—try to do your creative best, and then force the marketplace to take it. So if you had a job he felt you were sacrificing, but if you did not then he expected you to paint your best, and make the world take it, and pay for it.

Now give us a moment.... He felt that in a way he was doing this for both of you: that despite what you said, if you wanted to paint for a living, or rather, simply to paint and thereby live, you would take those chances that he was taking, and whatever consequences that followed.

When you found what those consequences were, for Ruburt at least, you wanted no part of them. But in the old contract you had psychically made in this life, either of you would have done anything he felt, to paint and write and make the world accept what you did and pay for it.

Give us a moment.... “Slow down because you are going too fast,” (was) told him in his youth; he reactivated those ideas, interpreting them to mean that he must slow down in order to produce mature work. Naturally, left alone, his body and his mind both work fast, and there is nothing dangerous in that. He had been told he would burn himself out, so he came into his late 30’s and tried to slow down. This has been covered in past sessions—many of them. He can trust himself and his own rhythms however.