“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

Ruburt’s (very relaxed) condition today was the result of Friday’s news (about the very good sales of all of Jane’s books), and the body was ridding itself of a tension. Ruburt is aware that those purposes served by his physical condition are quickly vanishing. That is, he took on the symptoms because he believed that physical restraint was the best way to insure his concentration. I do not want to duplicate material given. For creative, financial and other present reasons, however, he felt that stern disciplinary measures had to be taken.

He is now reassured enough to drop the disciplinary measures. He thought previously that Eleanor and Dick would be a means, and there was a period from the time when you met them, until now, when for him everything was critical. The carrot was out before the horse. The promise of where he wanted to be. These are just short phrases.

He believes now that he is in a pretty fair position, one he can happily accept creatively and financially. He has also learned along the way. It was not really great wealth, but some acceptable framework of financial security he was after, and some assurance that his books would bring him this, along with the freedom of creativity as he understood it.

There was some resentment against you, for he could not accept what he considered as a sacrifice on your part in jobs throughout your life, and yet he was angry because you would not do, he thought, what he had done—try to do your creative best, and then force the marketplace to take it. So if you had a job he felt you were sacrificing, but if you did not then he expected you to paint your best, and make the world take it, and pay for it.

Now on his part it was precisely that conflict that got him into difficulty, and that brought about the ideas of “work.” He became angry, and still is, when you show normal criticism of Prentice and their dealings with our books, or his, because he feels that you do not really understand how difficult it is to market creative work, and since you do not sell your paintings you should not criticize his admittedly worrisome efforts. The fact that some of your criticisms are justified makes him worry the more, that he is not doing as good a job as he should.

Now give us a moment.... He felt that in a way he was doing this for both of you: that despite what you said, if you wanted to paint for a living, or rather, simply to paint and thereby live, you would take those chances that he was taking, and whatever consequences that followed.

So he was keeping the terms of the old contract. In the meantime you had learned so much, and so had he, but he still interpreted what he learned in the line of those old beliefs. He now realizes he has what he wanted—a creative framework in which to exist, with some financial independence. But he is now faced with body beliefs that have been built up as a result of the previous conflicts, and those are what you have to combat.

(10:05. Jane was still very relaxed. 10:25.)

He had healthy enough body concepts that had to be minimized to give him the symptoms, and this was done by reactivating beliefs he had “grown out of” before his symptoms. His mother gave him the idea that he was not graceful, for example, and this idea was reactivated. He was not allowed to take physical education because he was “not strong enough, and too high strung” when he was in high school. He was told not to run, but walk, to slow down because it was too dangerous to go fast, because he was too nervous. Now those beliefs, which he had dispensed with, were reactivated as aids, and they are the ones that now must be tackled.

Give us a moment.... “Slow down because you are going too fast,” (was) told him in his youth; he reactivated those ideas, interpreting them to mean that he must slow down in order to produce mature work. Naturally, left alone, his body and his mind both work fast, and there is nothing dangerous in that. He had been told he would burn himself out, so he came into his late 30’s and tried to slow down. This has been covered in past sessions—many of them. He can trust himself and his own rhythms however.

He has been using his will to put his body down. He must realize—and he does not yet—that the will can be just as effective in releasing his body. In reminding him of this you can also be of help, for he was afraid that his will was powerless in that regard.

Now I bid you a fond good evening. As per your article, a black hole was involved.

(11:31 PM. Seth’s parting remark concerned a news story in the New York Times today. It stated that a tiny black hole was responsible for the mysterious large-scale destruction in Siberia in 1908. Many theories have been advanced to explain the leveling of over 20 square miles of forest, with this one being the latest. We’ll keep the article on file.)