“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

He believes now that he is in a pretty fair position, one he can happily accept creatively and financially. He has also learned along the way. It was not really great wealth, but some acceptable framework of financial security he was after, and some assurance that his books would bring him this, along with the freedom of creativity as he understood it.

There was some resentment against you, for he could not accept what he considered as a sacrifice on your part in jobs throughout your life, and yet he was angry because you would not do, he thought, what he had done—try to do your creative best, and then force the marketplace to take it. So if you had a job he felt you were sacrificing, but if you did not then he expected you to paint your best, and make the world take it, and pay for it.

When you found what those consequences were, for Ruburt at least, you wanted no part of them. But in the old contract you had psychically made in this life, either of you would have done anything he felt, to paint and write and make the world accept what you did and pay for it.

So he was keeping the terms of the old contract. In the meantime you had learned so much, and so had he, but he still interpreted what he learned in the line of those old beliefs. He now realizes he has what he wanted—a creative framework in which to exist, with some financial independence. But he is now faced with body beliefs that have been built up as a result of the previous conflicts, and those are what you have to combat.

Today the body began to rid itself of tension. Ruburt is so used to body tensions that he felt disoriented and afraid. He does not need to go to a doctor, but he does need to pay attention to the physician within, and to heed the body’s ancient wisdom.

He had healthy enough body concepts that had to be minimized to give him the symptoms, and this was done by reactivating beliefs he had “grown out of” before his symptoms. His mother gave him the idea that he was not graceful, for example, and this idea was reactivated. He was not allowed to take physical education because he was “not strong enough, and too high strung” when he was in high school. He was told not to run, but walk, to slow down because it was too dangerous to go fast, because he was too nervous. Now those beliefs, which he had dispensed with, were reactivated as aids, and they are the ones that now must be tackled.

He must trust the physician within. Concentration should not be on “work,” but on aspects, poetry, his ideas. He is learning indeed the use of a different kind of inspirational time, which conflicts with his old ideas of so many hours.

While he is adjusting to this, let him take 3 hours a day, including Saturday, in which he is to be creatively free. He will do more “work” then than in 6 determined hours. Each day now, I want him to take his walk, even if it is only around the house. The corner is fine, but around the house is better than none; and to sit down for bowel movements.

Now these are my week’s suggestions, and I want, beside what I have just given you, a ten-minute badminton session daily, or pounding of the pillow for a lesser time—but one or the other. He must be encouraged to use the body, for he will see it respond, and the feedback is highly important for his confidence.

Ruburt is left with the body image that he acquired. He is afraid that he cannot undo what he has done. He can indeed, but he needs to develop confidence in that belief, and each physical achievement is of great benefit.

I will have you both do the point of power exercise. But for now I expect this week’s suggestions to be faithfully followed.

The vitamins do help combat the stress he places upon the body, but only while he works with these sessions and his beliefs. Your ages were involved, in that he felt you had only so much time. Remind him that the ideas he reactivated about the body may have had some application to a child, but none to a woman.

Ruburt’s condition will improve. That is already established, but there is a great difference between improvement and the relatively complete physical freedom he can have, that will come as he realizes his conscious control over his body’s condition.