“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

He does feel a strong responsibility to hold his own financially. Poverty in youth was counterbalanced by ideas of wealth because of the father’s background. Ruburt hoped his talent would bring him some kind of magical translation of his father’s supposed wealth. Working alone had a magic, yet while money came from someplace else—working out—the weight of financial desire did not rest upon creativity.

Today he was afraid, for one thing, that if he left himself alone he would just write poetry that very well might not sell. He feels he is his own employer, and as an employer must see that he produces salable work. Creatively however he wants to go full blast regardless, and that is the way of course that he produces his best “work.”

He feels that he has taken a chance that you have not taken, staking financial survival on creative work. But here also is one of the rubs, for both of you used to take it for granted that real creativity did not sell. So Ruburt became somewhat suspicious when he considered creativity of his own, and afraid that it would not sell because it was creative.

The improvements do show that his beliefs are changing, and some of his anger today was simply energy that he has been withholding from himself for fear that it would not be correctly used. He is feeling impulses to go out for example for walks that he did not feel before, and be more physically active, while at the same time he does not yet feel able to perform to his satisfaction.

The schedule itself, with the beliefs he held, blinded him to the impulses because he would not allow them to emerge. I want him to continue with my book, and when he reaches the portions on point of power and natural hypnosis I will give him instructions so that both of you together spend five minutes a day at each exercise. This will double their effects.

Ruburt has a condition brought about my inhibiting physical impulses, and therefore body motion. The condition can be reversed by encouraging body motion. The beliefs behind the curtailment are now being laid bare, and the body beliefs themselves are also beginning to be tackled. The negative suggestions in such books as the ones Ruburt is considering buying would not help him.