“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

Now: when Ruburt worked out for money his ideas and beliefs concerning work were divorced from his ideas about creativity.

He does feel a strong responsibility to hold his own financially. Poverty in youth was counterbalanced by ideas of wealth because of the father’s background. Ruburt hoped his talent would bring him some kind of magical translation of his father’s supposed wealth. Working alone had a magic, yet while money came from someplace else—working out—the weight of financial desire did not rest upon creativity.

He wrote despite the fact that he had to work, and out of love of writing. When work in terms of making money was applied to writing, then divisions occurred in his attitude as to what might be salable and bring money, and therefore fall into the work category—and what might not be salable but highly creative regardless.

He has always had some kind of writing schedule. The confusion about it has to do with his interpretation of work and creativity. Often he tried to block out creative ideas he feared were not salable, or work.

Today he was afraid, for one thing, that if he left himself alone he would just write poetry that very well might not sell. He feels he is his own employer, and as an employer must see that he produces salable work. Creatively however he wants to go full blast regardless, and that is the way of course that he produces his best “work.”

His attitude in its own way is the same as you mentioned earlier this evening, in that he believes he is lucky not to have to work out, and so must make what he is doing pay. Your talk about the time clock got through to him in the past only too well. The amount of time is not important, but his attitude toward it is.

You told him once he could not punch a time clock. He has been trying to show you that he can. He felt that with his natural spontaneity great discipline must be used, as given before. Working home meant working home, so he shut down impulses that might make him become distracted ,or want to go out when others were working.

Breaking schedule brought some of this to consciousness. It was carried to such an extreme finally that often, at least, his best creativity came after hours. The schedule became nearly an obsession. It had to be broken. If he chooses to work hourly again, it will be a new fresh conscious decision. For both of you however, you must understand that work was the rule for a long time.

He feels that he has taken a chance that you have not taken, staking financial survival on creative work. But here also is one of the rubs, for both of you used to take it for granted that real creativity did not sell. So Ruburt became somewhat suspicious when he considered creativity of his own, and afraid that it would not sell because it was creative.

He felt therefore that he had to make his way of life pay. He used to feel that you were accusing him when you said that he did not know what it was to punch a time clock, meaning that he did not have the guts or the ability. At the same time you had not chosen that source either but very briefly. Creative work was his joy, but that creativity also had more and more connotations that applied to work and money.

You considered them in a good light, and remembered what I said about absolutes. Ruburt however, sensing some improvement, wanted instant, complete recovery, and while he handled this better than in the past, tell him, nevertheless at his end he used absolutes again. Tell him to keep that in mind.

Your morning behavior, again, and behavior in general, has been of great help. His study of my book will be of greater help. His ideas concerning out-of-bodies are important. He is waiting for the Bantam check, which will come through. He is impatient because he likes me working on a book for him. (Humorously.)

The improvements do show that his beliefs are changing, and some of his anger today was simply energy that he has been withholding from himself for fear that it would not be correctly used. He is feeling impulses to go out for example for walks that he did not feel before, and be more physically active, while at the same time he does not yet feel able to perform to his satisfaction.

Also, dropping the schedule at my behest, the conflicts are more out in the open, so that anger is actually a recognition of impulse, frustration at not being able to follow through adequately, and the conflict between feeling the impulses and feeling that he should be at his schedule.

Ruburt’s insights, written in the margin of my book, about the correlations between his physical beliefs and his work beliefs, are correct, and important. Your affirmation that his body can perform better is also of great help, for those body beliefs also have to be tackled. He is beginning now with those.

If he thinks in terms of doing what he wants to do, even if he assigns time to the pursuits, he is better off than labeling anything work. Out-of-bodies, writing and spontaneous impressions are all things he likes to do, but some fell inside his work category and some did not. He likes challenges. Then have him “work” with them, and use them to his advantage. But do not overdo it, as is his inclination at times when he thinks in terms of absolutes.

For this week have him see how many times he can go out by himself or with you on a walk, but not a walk around the block or to the corner—a walk around the house will do. That is important. He is to continue my book, and make his moods known to you, as today, for you helped him.

The book is geared not only for Ruburt—and it is—but for many with beliefs like his, and incidentally yours, and so it will be of great benefit. He could not be consciously concerned with it, or use it properly, while producing it. This has to do with different areas of the brain being utilized.

I suggest, if he wants to, that he use the pendulum, which is utilizing his own body’s knowledge, asking if any foods upset him. Refraining from those while working as I suggest with beliefs is all right, since he is using his own abilities. Do you see the difference?

His suggestions should follow the lines of inspiration in his writing-requests for psychic and creative insight while avoiding absolutes. Again, physical suggestions such as “I can walk easier” are fine. Or “My legs and knees can support my weight.” But avoid suggestions like “I can astonish myself,” etc., of which he is so fond. I personally suggest, although he can do as he wishes, that he see himself rising at a decent hour to enjoy his day, and that he try two out-of-bodies a week during the day, as he used to. He is improving, however. The focus upon physical changes in your rooms is good. Continue it. Ruburt’s ideas about out-of-bodies and death are highly important, and should be pursued.

I am seeing to your mother’s comfort. Psychically she has met Daisy (the deceased wife of my mother’s brother Frank), and is in connection with Ruburt. You have friends because of your work and association with me, and your mother will be well cared for. She is psychically more a part of you than your father. He went in a different direction, as per material given at that time. Tell Ruburt that others helped his mother as he helps yours.