“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

He was not walking properly by a long shot, but he wanted to get up, and he walked as well barefooted as with shoes. You were surprised, and voiced approval. He began to write notes for his book as soon as breakfast was over, and before the table was cleared. He felt suddenly comparatively free.

Some of the difficulty began when Ruburt started to connect writing with work. Remember his literal mind, and also that he does sometimes operate with extremes. Work was not play, then. It involved making money, definite hours, a routine and also adult status. He felt he needed that.

When he felt you both needed money, the work aspects were magnified. He did not dare to drop them. He had seen your family’s reaction to you as an artist. Work must bring money in that context.

Ruburt’s normal “work periods” would often involve nonconventional hours, however, precisely because they were nonconventional. Each morning he felt it his duty to get up at a decent hour to go to work. At the same time artistic work had other connotations. Everything else was unimportant by contrast, so that other pursuits became taboo. If you went out in the day people knew you were not working. You early used the word “chores” for activities in which Ruburt took a childish delight. With his literal-mindedness, and for reasons given in the past, he also began to think of them as chores. Otherwise he would want to do them and not work.

In the meantime you had changed many of those ideas, and Ruburt felt betrayed and furious at you for leaving him to carry on these principles in which you had once so heartily agreed, in his eyes, you see.

Inspiration and creativity he felt he could trust, but never felt he could trust his working capacity in the way he thought of work. At the same time other activities became taboo as not-work, so it was “wrong” to putter about the house in his work hours, and equally wrong to work after hours, when people who worked should be free.

Each day became a battle to turn play into work, structure it, and make it personally and socially acceptable. Yet creativity kept escaping the work definition—in my books, Seven and Sumari; and he even felt guilty about Sumari poetry in work hours, for it might not fulfill work’s requirements, produce money and so forth.

Your own speaking about distractions, chores contributed. Your habits are fairly, though not entirely, native to your nature. They were not to Ruburt’s. He felt he did need discipline, however, as given in other session. The worries about money, age, all contributed so that he tried to work harder.

He was living with you, someone he loved who had a different temperament, and tried to make his align with your own because of his love, and also because he felt your ides were better. You were older, knew more, he felt; and you were also afraid of the spontaneous qualities that he possessed.

Your mother felt that his creativity was a threat to stability, so maintaining your own creativity stubbornly, you still felt to some degree that it was a threat, that it would not pay off, and so you tried to clothe it in the garb of work, effort, regular hours, and stability, and to deny or play down its playful aspects.