“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

Ruburt’s father, to Ruburt, meant laxness, relaxation to the extreme, without drive or fire, responsibility or control. Ruburt’s mother meant will, drive, power, for she had power over the household and over Ruburt. But that power went nowhere, for Ruburt’s father was physically free while his mother was not. Ruburt thought he had to make a choice (louder). If will and power meant relative immobility but purpose—and purpose was what he had—then in the past he chose that above what he thought of as laxness, relaxation, and physical freedom that might mean frittering away ability, a relaxation in which nothing was accomplished.

Ruburt’s father represented the other extreme, with no firm purpose, seemingly driven willy-nilly, and accomplishing nothing. Both parents could be highly destructive, however—Ruburt’s father when he was drunk, and Ruburt’s mother generally.

Now he is free to appreciate and use the energy shown to him by his mother in condensed dramatic fashion, tempered and freed by the free-flowing air of the father, and the physical mobility and sense of exploration that he represented.

The Christian-Science background with the father was also important, for it was this inner belief of the father that did sustain him, and that inclination of the father and his mother (Mattie) that Ruburt chose in his background to temper his own mother’s beliefs and lead him in our direction. The daughter triumphs for the parent, then. The same applies in its own way to each individual, where the conditions and challenges and solutions as well are given in the chosen background. So the way applies in its own way to you.

Your father represented what you thought of as the secret, isolated creative self—more or less at odds with the world, unappreciated by it in family or financial terms; the alone, artistic self you thought unable to communicate, inarticulate and dumb, locked away from close communication with others, and indeed barraged by misunderstandings because of its very creativity—emotionally frozen, afraid to show itself.

We come back to will and freedom, discipline and purpose. Ruburt’s background with his mother and his beliefs in will then merged with your feelings for isolation from your father. Ruburt blocked out emotional spontaneity, feeling that his father was lax. You blocked out emotional spontaneity, feeling that your mother’s was detrimental to creative isolation. At the same time you admired Ruburt’s spontaneity. You trusted it however only because it was merged with creative purpose. He therefore used it only for such purpose, not wanting to frighten you with it otherwise because he loved you so.

He was also afraid of spontaneity not related to creativity because of his feeling that his father went willy-nilly and produced nothing. In solving his dilemma, which was the creative one, the both of you triumph for yourselves and for your parents.