“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

Your father represented what you thought of as the secret, isolated creative self—more or less at odds with the world, unappreciated by it in family or financial terms; the alone, artistic self you thought unable to communicate, inarticulate and dumb, locked away from close communication with others, and indeed barraged by misunderstandings because of its very creativity—emotionally frozen, afraid to show itself.

Your mother represented the opposite in your mind—the emotionally explosive, suffocating immediacy, a female life and earthly ties, social commitment, homey chores and distractions that seemed to be directly opposed to solitary creativity.

We come back to will and freedom, discipline and purpose. Ruburt’s background with his mother and his beliefs in will then merged with your feelings for isolation from your father. Ruburt blocked out emotional spontaneity, feeling that his father was lax. You blocked out emotional spontaneity, feeling that your mother’s was detrimental to creative isolation. At the same time you admired Ruburt’s spontaneity. You trusted it however only because it was merged with creative purpose. He therefore used it only for such purpose, not wanting to frighten you with it otherwise because he loved you so.