“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

Now, good evening—

Ruburt has always known this. To some extent he had equated his recovery as almost impossible at times, since in those terms, now, and when (underlined) they operate, it puts him in the position of trying to be perfect. Do you follow me?

Intuitively the personality knew its abilities also, so there was the creative urge to develop and grow. The two blended. His desire to forge ahead philosophically beyond any school or church also was involved, and his artistic endeavors—which bloom in my books, now, as well as in his own work.

Now take a break, and if you are willing we will continue briefly.

Now. Ruburt felt that his symptoms were, in your eyes, the concrete indications of his imperfections. They became a symbol to him. You would not accept him as he was unless he was perfect. You would not accept him with the symptoms as an imperfect being, and love him anyway. He felt that unless he became physically perfect again (underlined) you would not love him again in that way he wanted.

He had to be perfect for you in order to be physically perfect, and he felt it impossible to be perfect enough, so that this could be physically materialized. He felt you were rigid in your standards. Now much of this has to do with his own characteristics, as given, and ways of reacting. He was afraid you would become like your father in his treatment of your mother.

Now I know what questions you have, so give me a moment.

Now you knew Ruburt’s stubbornness. You knew he would insist upon drawing you out in precisely those ways that you desired and feared, so both of you were quite aware of what was going on.

In his role as woman Ruburt would not want to appear in public with you unless he was gallantly and proudly escorted. He expected this always. For a while, now, the symptoms also represented a holding back because he feared you were jealous of his success, to save you embarrassment, as mentioned in the past.

He felt ashamed of what he thought you thought of as trivial unimportant matters, homey concerns. He became ashamed of them. Fear of childbirth was also involved. He feels you both can be more lenient now since the possibilities have dropped some: because of his age he is less likely to become pregnant, than when he was, say, 30.

Now: I will not keep you, and if you are tired from note-taking, say so.

You were not painting. Ruburt was not writing. You were faced with your relationship as it exists apart from your work together. Now do you follow me?

Now though it may not seem so to you, the entire episode has been a creative endeavor, in which together you saw to it that various desired characteristics be brought out in each other. You particularly in the beginning, served as a strong impetus to Ruburt, freeing him for serious work.

You do not believe me now when I tell you that you have always exaggerated your situation and Ruburt’s as far as its negative aspects are concerned—but you have, and this has been part of the difficulty.

You will see. Now I bid you a fond good evening, and my heartiest, freest regards for a joyful, spontaneous, and loving daily existence, in which all things have their place.

Now—I told you earlier something about that. He displayed his body wearing shorts and swimsuits, and that was also involved. Check the session.

Now. A brief remark for our friend.

Now you cannot say that I always speak clearly. (Humorously.) And that is the end of our postcard.