“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

What was not said is this: he felt that no one with whom he had been intimately involved believed in him as a person, or trusted his intrinsic value, except for yourself. Your meeting and love helped reinforce all of his own creative aspects and rearroused his faith in himself. While he had that strong faith in himself, the other tendencies, including the false prophet ideas, lost all but the most minute significance.

You alone seemed to accept him as the person that he was. Love is a great reconciler, and the greatest healer, and so is trust. Some of this can be given later if you want specific connections. As your own complaints grew however, about your job, this place (house), publishers, and his behavior, he began to feel that he did not have your trust, and therefore the old doubts, slowly at first, began to emerge.

When he was spontaneous, it seemed, you did (underlined) disapprove. At the time that session was given (367th) those elements were paramount. It was because of his great love for you and his knowledge of your great love for him, that your disapproval, by contrast, was (underlined) so chilling.

If you, who loved him so deeply, distrusted him, then you see he must seriously consider that he must indeed watch himself carefully.

Ruburt has always known this. To some extent he had equated his recovery as almost impossible at times, since in those terms, now, and when (underlined) they operate, it puts him in the position of trying to be perfect. Do you follow me?

Now. Ruburt felt that his symptoms were, in your eyes, the concrete indications of his imperfections. They became a symbol to him. You would not accept him as he was unless he was perfect. You would not accept him with the symptoms as an imperfect being, and love him anyway. He felt that unless he became physically perfect again (underlined) you would not love him again in that way he wanted.

He felt unable to freely (underlined) express his fears to you, feeling they would only upset you. You did not express your fears often to him, so he began to hide his warm, vulnerable self from the person he loved most.

Both events are important—the death of his father and the mailing of the book. He felt that you were strongly dissatisfied with the circumstances surrounding the book: you told him it was marred because of his missed sessions; the fact that it was accepted instead of another book (Dreams, etc.). And the Nebene characteristics that came out strongly as you worked with the details toward the book’s end.

His father’s death reminded him that he was suddenly quite alone except then for his mother, and also brought up the question of age.

He felt—this is an answer to another question—that there was a veiled threat involved in my remark that I would not be dispensed with. There was none. He felt angry that often it seemed you trusted me but not him. He was never in danger of any severe emotional or mental difficulties. He would always cope—and in the main creatively, if unconventionally or bizarrely.

This would have frightened you enough so that you would have come to him freely, or in his eyes not cared enough to. Do you have other questions?

He also felt sexually that what you wanted least was true spontaneity, for that could lead him to forget himself enough to forget proper birth control methods. You did not trust intercourse anymore than he did.

You can get around this however, using methods given earlier, and reassurance. He will be afraid for a while that you will turn away from him again. It has never been what you said, so much as your unexpressed communications that bothered him. What is said you can face, work out, and encounter.

He had to know he could do it, and that he would, while a portion of him knew quite well that it was not necessary.

Now though it may not seem so to you, the entire episode has been a creative endeavor, in which together you saw to it that various desired characteristics be brought out in each other. You particularly in the beginning, served as a strong impetus to Ruburt, freeing him for serious work.

Richard sends you (Jane and me) postcards, and this is my private postcard to him, though my real address is difficult to find (period). I am keeping an eye out however for his affairs and Eleanor’s, and I appreciate their endeavors on Ruburt’s behalf. They are not needed, and yet on all of your behalves they are needed.

(Eleanor said Mr. Andrews is on the White House staff, and the letter is President Nixon’s way of inviting Dick to dinner with him.