“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

When you made the remark about tour, Ruburt repressed the fear invoked, wanting to show you that he no longer was so sensitive. Do you follow me?

He feels that he unjustly puts you on the spot, now. Quite rightly, he does not want you to have to double-think before you speak. He repressed the emotions (underlined) in an effort to show improvement.

These repressed feelings grew just beyond the reach of consciousness, and just below the reach of consciousness, but almost consciously he began to wonder, to judge his condition now with what it must be. (To go on tour.) The feeling-tone colored his other activities.

Crying is a cleansing and usually quite beneficial activity, releasing psychic as well as physical pressures. He has little use for it, or for people who cry, because of his mother’s crying spells. Crying clears the air and guarantees that the emotion will not be repressed. It is a healthy sign. He shies away from this, fearing that it is negative, or that it will upset you and make him feel worse. Fearing you see the noise, the undisciplined—to him—release.

Explain to him your feelings. It is quite natural for him at times to become discouraged. It is for anyone. When he feels that way it would be of great help if he simply cried alone, or went to you for comfort. He thinks of it as an admission of weakness. There is a connection here sexually with the giving-into emotion, period, in a bodily fashion.

Before the day begins with work Ruburt should take a few moments, as he has done in periods of improvement, to dedicate himself to a creative and expressive day. The emphasis on expression.

There was a recording he made with In a Gadda Da Vida in which suggestions were given. This was of help, and I suggest he use it. When he feels he is in a bind, he should admit it and tell you. Such periods will then diminish. The effort to hide them is of no help.

The results will come, but not if he checks constantly for them. This implies the fear that they will not appear, not the faith that they will. The sharing of any emotion with you will quicken the sexual activities, and it is in the area of discouragement in particular that Ruburt represses.

It involves the fear of criticism, that he will be criticized for being discouraged. Discouragement is natural, and is no problem once it is acknowledged and expressed. In fact it is a stage clearing the way for new action, and to a certain extent the handmaiden of encouragement and joy.

Ruburt in past years tried to be like you, to emulate what he thought you were like, this fitting in with the overidealization. He would do anything then to avoid an emotional scene. Emotions belonged to parents, who were unreasonable.

He felt emotional displays on his part would make you cast him in the same light as your mother. Her tears put you on the defensive, he felt. He even felt you considered tears contemptible.

It was his emotional nature however and spontaneity that opened your eyes to the necessity for emotional expression. Because he idealized you so, he projected the same kind of feelings from you to him, thinking then that you wanted an ideal mate, not a quite human one. Letting him know that you are not afraid of emotional expression on his part is most important.

He has made gains however in understanding the extent of his repressions. Earlier he did not at all. The last session I gave, in Florida, is very important, taken with this one. The suggestions given tonight are given for his present period, geared to the present state of affairs, and will bring results, and excellent ones.