“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

Now, Good evening, and good evening to our friends. I will be addressing ____. Now before we begin, let me say a few things to you. First of all, as you well know, you cannot force spontaneity. You have it in your mind that you must be spontaneous, that you must let yourself go, and as you also know, spontaneity is not achieved in that manner. You want to feel free to give of your own nature, not when it is demanded by contract. You do not want to give upon demand—after your marriage you felt as if this was the case. You felt quite free to have an orgasm when you did not consider it something required of you—when you gave out of your own giving. You have always given of yourself—in many areas you have always been spontaneous. You do not want to give when you feel you must give. You do not want to give on demand. You can live with the idea of being a mistress, not wife—the two roles clash in your own psyche. There is a connection here between you when you know so much about hypnosis (“and yet not successful in going into it yourself”—I lost these words—and am paraphrasing Seth here).

Forget the word orgasm. Forget what you think intellectually it means. When making love, simply become aware of what your body feels. Do not try to force your body onward. Use a balanced alertness and passivity. Simply be yourself as you are.

Forget the word orgasm. Become aware of what you do feel without questioning. Cease to strive for an orgasm. You are trying too hard in that direction, as with meditation. You are too earnest in that regard. In its own way hypnosis involves a psychic kind of play—meditation involves a psychic kind of play and lovemaking involves a psychic kind of play. You are too serious in your lovemaking, as in other fields.

Make up certain games in your lovemaking. Involve your husband in them. Let him surprise you. Have the stress be upon, first of all, gentle touches. You know many of these sensitivity techniques. Use these. Let yourself be lost in the wonder of his hand upon your thigh, of the heat between the hand and the thigh, and forget the word or thought of sexual orgasm. You are laboring too much.

There is also, within, that you do not want to be one of the masses of men and women who experience the same phenomena, in other words, the orgasm—that you want to be apart, and different, and indeed spontaneous and a rebel and walk along in your own way. There is behind it all also, a great embarrassment that you must share such a sensation with others, if you experienced it within marriage—it is expected within marriage—people looking at you, in other words, if you are married can say that you do it.

This means using your mind and applying the mind to the body—not blocking out the mind. Any love encounter is truly unique and different from any other and this you must understand. A love encounter is a way of expressing your individuality. In expressing it, you do not lose it—you are not less a rebel. In expressing it you become more what you are—you jump the bridge of communication beyond words, and this can be a simple thing involving merely the touch of hand on hand or thigh on thigh.