“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

Your husband’s attitude, certainly on the surface, has been understanding. Yet despite the surface attitude you feel, this is a duty, and you have set in your mind a bogeyman, called Orgasm. You have glorified what orgasm is—the unattainable, and therefore, the symbol of all the other qualities you want to achieve or think you should achieve, but do not have. The term, itself, sets up a barrier. In the spontaneous, normal natural feelings you have, you always question: How far am I going, how much am I giving? Always beginning with the idea that the orgasm for you is impossible to achieve. Your body has a set of contradictory doctrines—it cannot behave on its own. The negative taboos over the years have built up. Some of this can be immediately negated if you do one thing.

It may seem in your terms that orgasm demands a letting go—a lack of concentration. Yet instead, a high amount of concentration is involved, as other stimuli are shut out and consciousness is instead focused on visible sensation. This involves action on your part and the focusing of attention—then this will help clear away some of your difficulty.

There is no reason why you cannot progress in your meditations either—the two are so intimately connected and you have equated them in a strange manner in your own mind. This again is the problem of trying too hard. You should use your own mantra—you resent using the mantras of others—the very fact that certain mantras are expected to bring you to a certain state of consciousness is precisely enough to make you decide that you will not go in that direction.