“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

Now, Good evening, and good evening to our friends. I will be addressing ____. Now before we begin, let me say a few things to you. First of all, as you well know, you cannot force spontaneity. You have it in your mind that you must be spontaneous, that you must let yourself go, and as you also know, spontaneity is not achieved in that manner. You want to feel free to give of your own nature, not when it is demanded by contract. You do not want to give upon demand—after your marriage you felt as if this was the case. You felt quite free to have an orgasm when you did not consider it something required of you—when you gave out of your own giving. You have always given of yourself—in many areas you have always been spontaneous. You do not want to give when you feel you must give. You do not want to give on demand. You can live with the idea of being a mistress, not wife—the two roles clash in your own psyche. There is a connection here between you when you know so much about hypnosis (“and yet not successful in going into it yourself”—I lost these words—and am paraphrasing Seth here).

Your husband’s attitude, certainly on the surface, has been understanding. Yet despite the surface attitude you feel, this is a duty, and you have set in your mind a bogeyman, called Orgasm. You have glorified what orgasm is—the unattainable, and therefore, the symbol of all the other qualities you want to achieve or think you should achieve, but do not have. The term, itself, sets up a barrier. In the spontaneous, normal natural feelings you have, you always question: How far am I going, how much am I giving? Always beginning with the idea that the orgasm for you is impossible to achieve. Your body has a set of contradictory doctrines—it cannot behave on its own. The negative taboos over the years have built up. Some of this can be immediately negated if you do one thing.

You have created the problem in your own mind, of course, and reinforce it. The more you build up the necessity of having an orgasm, the more impossible it becomes.

But when these qualities are demanded of you, in your mind, or when you believe you must perform them, you become frozen. This has also applied to one small area of your profession life also.

There is no reason why you cannot progress in your meditations either—the two are so intimately connected and you have equated them in a strange manner in your own mind. This again is the problem of trying too hard. You should use your own mantra—you resent using the mantras of others—the very fact that certain mantras are expected to bring you to a certain state of consciousness is precisely enough to make you decide that you will not go in that direction.

This means using your mind and applying the mind to the body—not blocking out the mind. Any love encounter is truly unique and different from any other and this you must understand. A love encounter is a way of expressing your individuality. In expressing it, you do not lose it—you are not less a rebel. In expressing it you become more what you are—you jump the bridge of communication beyond words, and this can be a simple thing involving merely the touch of hand on hand or thigh on thigh.

So do not label the experience you think you should have. Let your body and your mind become aware of what your body feels in these encounters.