“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

Your husband’s attitude, certainly on the surface, has been understanding. Yet despite the surface attitude you feel, this is a duty, and you have set in your mind a bogeyman, called Orgasm. You have glorified what orgasm is—the unattainable, and therefore, the symbol of all the other qualities you want to achieve or think you should achieve, but do not have. The term, itself, sets up a barrier. In the spontaneous, normal natural feelings you have, you always question: How far am I going, how much am I giving? Always beginning with the idea that the orgasm for you is impossible to achieve. Your body has a set of contradictory doctrines—it cannot behave on its own. The negative taboos over the years have built up. Some of this can be immediately negated if you do one thing.

I know you have tried concentrating on pleasing your husband first of all. However, I suggest that you simply realize that your body is an important part of you that you have allowed to go begging—that its response can be perfectly adequate that you must release it from your own preconceptions—particularly from your idea of what an orgasm should be...that you allow yourself to feel freely.

Be aware of what your body feels without questioning—without wondering whether or not your body should feel more—allow yourself to feel your husband’s caresses in the same way a flower might feel the sun.

Make up certain games in your lovemaking. Involve your husband in them. Let him surprise you. Have the stress be upon, first of all, gentle touches. You know many of these sensitivity techniques. Use these. Let yourself be lost in the wonder of his hand upon your thigh, of the heat between the hand and the thigh, and forget the word or thought of sexual orgasm. You are laboring too much.

Now—I would like to make a few comments regarding what Ruburt just said. First of all, if you will forgive me, you would have no difficulty at all having orgasm with a man to whom you were deeply attracted if he were not your husband, and if you could get over the moral barriers that might prevent it—if you could convince yourself that it was all right.

When you honestly let yourself become aware of the slightest touch between your husband and yourself and honestly admit it and enjoy it, you are a step ahead.

I have another suggestion to make in the area of lovemaking—that you imagine yourself on occasion as your husband, and imagine what he must feel as he touches your body.

Do not resent the fact that your husband can have orgasm so easily, in your terms. You are jealous in that regard of what you consider his spontaneity. You envy him his pleasure while feeling you should not feel envious. In your present condition, however, a certain portion of you is still pleased that you have held out—that you are the rebel to the last, and that you have not given in.