“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

Your husband’s attitude, certainly on the surface, has been understanding. Yet despite the surface attitude you feel, this is a duty, and you have set in your mind a bogeyman, called Orgasm. You have glorified what orgasm is—the unattainable, and therefore, the symbol of all the other qualities you want to achieve or think you should achieve, but do not have. The term, itself, sets up a barrier. In the spontaneous, normal natural feelings you have, you always question: How far am I going, how much am I giving? Always beginning with the idea that the orgasm for you is impossible to achieve. Your body has a set of contradictory doctrines—it cannot behave on its own. The negative taboos over the years have built up. Some of this can be immediately negated if you do one thing.

Forget the word orgasm. Forget what you think intellectually it means. When making love, simply become aware of what your body feels. Do not try to force your body onward. Use a balanced alertness and passivity. Simply be yourself as you are.

I know you have tried concentrating on pleasing your husband first of all. However, I suggest that you simply realize that your body is an important part of you that you have allowed to go begging—that its response can be perfectly adequate that you must release it from your own preconceptions—particularly from your idea of what an orgasm should be...that you allow yourself to feel freely.

Be aware of what your body feels without questioning—without wondering whether or not your body should feel more—allow yourself to feel your husband’s caresses in the same way a flower might feel the sun.

Do not try to let go—forget the idea of letting go. Simply become aware of your sensations. Concentrate upon what your body feels. Imagine, the interrelationship, for example, between his hand and the particular portion of your body that it is touching. Realize that the simple atoms and molecules that compose your bodies are aware, and are vital and participating. Left to themselves they know their own joy and are aware of such intimate relationships.

If you will not try to have an orgasm—if you will simply allow your body to become aware of the sensations that it feels, then you will be at a beginning.

I want you to take it for granted that your body feels—but that you have often inhibited the feeling. Therefore, I want you in your lovemaking to imagine that your body is like a field—be aware as stimuli come to this field—feel it waken. I want you to concentrate upon feeling actively. I want you to be alert to the movement of muscles—the message of nerves. The body is affected by touch in the same way as a field by the wind, the sun and the rain. I simply suggest, therefore, that you become aware in the same manner—that you listen for what your body feels. It is you who have been blocking sensations that are there and do exist.

Allow your body its simple pleasure. Do not begin by insisting it have a certain kind of peak—let it go to be itself. The same thing in meditation—let your inner self play in your meditation and let your body play in your lovemaking.

I have another suggestion to make in the area of lovemaking—that you imagine yourself on occasion as your husband, and imagine what he must feel as he touches your body.

I suggest once more that you concentrate upon relatively few areas of the body: the hands, the face, the arms, the thighs. Become aware of your own sensations in those areas as he touches you there.

Concentrate upon the idea of your body being a field awakened by the wind and the rain—awakened into sensation—not necessarily passive, then, but in a strange condition between alertness and passivity.

Use your own initiative for variations—think in terms of play—of a playful encounter, rather than serious encounter. Remember that the body, left alone, will find its own joy and pleasure. So concentrate upon what the body feels.

This means using your mind and applying the mind to the body—not blocking out the mind. Any love encounter is truly unique and different from any other and this you must understand. A love encounter is a way of expressing your individuality. In expressing it, you do not lose it—you are not less a rebel. In expressing it you become more what you are—you jump the bridge of communication beyond words, and this can be a simple thing involving merely the touch of hand on hand or thigh on thigh.

So do not label the experience you think you should have. Let your body and your mind become aware of what your body feels in these encounters.