“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

Now, Good evening, and good evening to our friends. I will be addressing ____. Now before we begin, let me say a few things to you. First of all, as you well know, you cannot force spontaneity. You have it in your mind that you must be spontaneous, that you must let yourself go, and as you also know, spontaneity is not achieved in that manner. You want to feel free to give of your own nature, not when it is demanded by contract. You do not want to give upon demand—after your marriage you felt as if this was the case. You felt quite free to have an orgasm when you did not consider it something required of you—when you gave out of your own giving. You have always given of yourself—in many areas you have always been spontaneous. You do not want to give when you feel you must give. You do not want to give on demand. You can live with the idea of being a mistress, not wife—the two roles clash in your own psyche. There is a connection here between you when you know so much about hypnosis (“and yet not successful in going into it yourself”—I lost these words—and am paraphrasing Seth here).

You judge yourself far too harshly however. You have a gift for bringing out the spontaneity from others, for calling from them qualities of giving and letting go, and in so doing you ride the spontaneity of others also—you can go along with it. It is only when you feel you yourself must give up yourself on demand—you are not able to let yourself go. This is from distorted attitudes of your own. The fear under those circumstances of letting go, and yet the fear has to do with the deeper fear involving the nature of your own inner faith—thoughts, of course, of being annihilated, not however by the emotions of another, but by your own.

Do not try to let go—forget the idea of letting go. Simply become aware of your sensations. Concentrate upon what your body feels. Imagine, the interrelationship, for example, between his hand and the particular portion of your body that it is touching. Realize that the simple atoms and molecules that compose your bodies are aware, and are vital and participating. Left to themselves they know their own joy and are aware of such intimate relationships.

Allow your body its simple pleasure. Do not begin by insisting it have a certain kind of peak—let it go to be itself. The same thing in meditation—let your inner self play in your meditation and let your body play in your lovemaking.

Make up certain games in your lovemaking. Involve your husband in them. Let him surprise you. Have the stress be upon, first of all, gentle touches. You know many of these sensitivity techniques. Use these. Let yourself be lost in the wonder of his hand upon your thigh, of the heat between the hand and the thigh, and forget the word or thought of sexual orgasm. You are laboring too much.

It may seem in your terms that orgasm demands a letting go—a lack of concentration. Yet instead, a high amount of concentration is involved, as other stimuli are shut out and consciousness is instead focused on visible sensation. This involves action on your part and the focusing of attention—then this will help clear away some of your difficulty.

When you honestly let yourself become aware of the slightest touch between your husband and yourself and honestly admit it and enjoy it, you are a step ahead.

So do not label the experience you think you should have. Let your body and your mind become aware of what your body feels in these encounters.