“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

Now: We will start easily enough, with your question as to whether or not Ruburt considered your feelings in all of this.

(#12: Is Ruburt at all concerned with the effects of his present behavior on me—my feelings, etc.?)

As mentioned today, he felt they served you, helped you save face in your family, and in society at large. You were not to be given the second place. Ruburt obviously needed you. Some of this did have to do with old ideas that you were angry at him for any success if you had not achieved your own—and more, that the success might take you on tours and further away from your own work, which would make you angrier at him.

His sudden desire to dance and the freedom came fairly quickly after you started going out again. You stopped immediately, avoiding the situation. Ruburt’s sudden desire to dance was also based upon desperation and defiance, which you recognized and reacted against.

Now. As partners, to some extent consciously you agreed to varying attitudes at different times to the conditions, though the main elements of course are Ruburt’s. You feel the necessity for some restraint in social encounters, and with the world at large. Ruburt is providing them, and also for his own reasons. He is showing the spontaneity in his work that you have denied yourself in many respects in yours. He is dealing with the world of markets that you have been unwilling to deal with. That is why you are so sensitive in that area.

Your basic trust and loyalty to each other, for example. Many spend a lifetime searching for that recognition with another human being, or achieve it but briefly. You are blind to this, yet others are quite aware that you have it. Besides, you each have deep interests and drives that have always united you; and you, Joseph, in this life served as an impetus to organize Ruburt’s abilities. He knew this. So did you. There are several time’s simultaneous existences, and you are both interacting in several. This deep inner knowledge provides each of you, whether or not you realize it, with strong ties of creaturehood, and deep loyalties to “both worlds.”

(10:28.) Give us a moment.... To some extent it is a matter of some perfectly adequate beliefs not being tempered by others. Some of the beliefs Ruburt holds, that you think you disapprove of, you agree with—though not with his methods.

Give us time.... You have agreed that restraints should be used. Ruburt chose the method. The methods came from his own experience in this life. The things you both strongly agreed upon were allowed freedom within those limitations. Until recently you spoke to him against travel because you lost work time. He believed that you thought it a waste of time, so he did not believe his lack of physical mobility that way would hamper you.

You have, Joseph, your own invisible beliefs. In a way Ruburt was doing precisely what you would do on one level—not leaving the house, avoiding tours, simply working, cutting out all distractions, and again you approved—not of methods, but of everything else.

You envied the concentration. On the one hand you said “Good girl,” and on the other complained about the undesirable side effects. Ruburt was doing what you wanted to do, without the mountaintop. Only when the side effects became more and more obtrusive did either of you become frightened.

Ruburt took it for granted that the body could take so much, and that he could reverse the conditions. Then he became afraid that he could not reverse them, and only then did the two of you really become worried.

The idea of cutting down stimuli and concentrating on work was quite agreeable to both of you for some time, far beyond the time you think it was. (Pause.) You then had to do many of the chores, and go out into the world, in you must admit a small fashion, but Ruburt was afraid that otherwise you would retreat.

Only the physical effects frightened either of you for some time. Ruburt was afraid also you would retreat as he felt your father had. Therefore he put you in a position where retreat was impossible. To some extent you were afraid of the same thing.

A note: Ruburt’s feelings toward this place (apartment 5) are significant and beneficial.