“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(This morning Jane and I embarked on a new program in an effort to track down the origin of her symptoms. They appear to be worse and we’re vitally concerned. We wrote out a series of 14 questions for Seth, and planned for a session tonight. We also began a list of her beliefs. A list of my beliefs will be added. We want to have at least a session a week on personal matters, and two or three meetings a week for work on beliefs. As expected, some of Jane’s beliefs at least partially answered some of the questions we had for Seth, but we still desire him to consider the questions.

As mentioned today, he felt they served you, helped you save face in your family, and in society at large. You were not to be given the second place. Ruburt obviously needed you. Some of this did have to do with old ideas that you were angry at him for any success if you had not achieved your own—and more, that the success might take you on tours and further away from your own work, which would make you angrier at him.

At the same time you encouraged him to success, but he felt only to a certain point, for the fruits of the success you might find disruptive. In the family to which he has always been sensitive he believed his success put you down, particularly with your mother and Loren. (My younger brother.)

At the same time he began to see what the symptoms turned you off to some degree, and this made him angry. Some late instances I have mentioned, having to do with his beliefs and interpretations now, of your actions in dance establishments.

He would purposely choose occasions in which dancing, to begin with, was at least not the thing—when no one else was dancing, when an ordinary person might have inhibitions against it. The very challenge was made because it, the challenge, aroused him to action in a situation in which he felt your natural inhibitions would meet up against his denied spontaneity.

He wanted to dance precisely because no one else was. Because you would stand out, because it was not the thing to do, and he felt and believed that those were precisely the reasons why you did not want him to do so.

The dancing situation is also important because bodily motion is involved. He always believed, now, that when you spoke to him in the past about walking faster than you, or not waiting for you to open doors, that you were saying to him “You are going too fast for me, and putting me in a poor social light.”

For some time he did not feel that you wanted him to get better, but only to keep the symptoms within bounds. Again, this is in reference to you, and not the whole picture. On one level he felt you were quite willing to have him do this, again, as long as he did not go too far.

Then he felt that you were accusing him of being stupid, but without trying to come up with any solutions of your own. Then he felt completely alone, with a problem he feared he could not solve. He looked to your reaction after any spontaneous behavior, and he believed, now, that your reaction was negative.

Very simply, the dancing episodes serve as an example. It seemed to him that if he spontaneously felt happy about a book that you would remind him of less favorable aspects. On the other hand he was convinced of your deep loyalty and love, and knew that you did want him to succeed and use his abilities.

Give us time.... You have agreed that restraints should be used. Ruburt chose the method. The methods came from his own experience in this life. The things you both strongly agreed upon were allowed freedom within those limitations. Until recently you spoke to him against travel because you lost work time. He believed that you thought it a waste of time, so he did not believe his lack of physical mobility that way would hamper you.