“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(This morning Jane and I embarked on a new program in an effort to track down the origin of her symptoms. They appear to be worse and we’re vitally concerned. We wrote out a series of 14 questions for Seth, and planned for a session tonight. We also began a list of her beliefs. A list of my beliefs will be added. We want to have at least a session a week on personal matters, and two or three meetings a week for work on beliefs. As expected, some of Jane’s beliefs at least partially answered some of the questions we had for Seth, but we still desire him to consider the questions.

He did of course care deeply, (and had) his interpretation of your feelings: he believed that the symptoms served you both, that you would on the one hand object, give lip service against his methods, but that underneath they provided you service.

At the same time you encouraged him to success, but he felt only to a certain point, for the fruits of the success you might find disruptive. In the family to which he has always been sensitive he believed his success put you down, particularly with your mother and Loren. (My younger brother.)

There is more there, but it is a cameo situation involving many important ingredients, where he feels that letting go means he is too flamboyant for you. It is important because it involves both private and public circumstances, his attitude toward himself, you, and other people, spontaneity, and restraint.

He believed that you wanted sex, but that you were afraid of it, as he was, because of the possibility of pregnancy. Here the symptoms served also, and cut down the possibility of sexual activity.

For some time he did not feel that you wanted him to get better, but only to keep the symptoms within bounds. Again, this is in reference to you, and not the whole picture. On one level he felt you were quite willing to have him do this, again, as long as he did not go too far.

Then he felt that you were accusing him of being stupid, but without trying to come up with any solutions of your own. Then he felt completely alone, with a problem he feared he could not solve. He looked to your reaction after any spontaneous behavior, and he believed, now, that your reaction was negative.

Your basic trust and loyalty to each other, for example. Many spend a lifetime searching for that recognition with another human being, or achieve it but briefly. You are blind to this, yet others are quite aware that you have it. Besides, you each have deep interests and drives that have always united you; and you, Joseph, in this life served as an impetus to organize Ruburt’s abilities. He knew this. So did you. There are several time’s simultaneous existences, and you are both interacting in several. This deep inner knowledge provides each of you, whether or not you realize it, with strong ties of creaturehood, and deep loyalties to “both worlds.”

You have, Joseph, your own invisible beliefs. In a way Ruburt was doing precisely what you would do on one level—not leaving the house, avoiding tours, simply working, cutting out all distractions, and again you approved—not of methods, but of everything else.

The idea of cutting down stimuli and concentrating on work was quite agreeable to both of you for some time, far beyond the time you think it was. (Pause.) You then had to do many of the chores, and go out into the world, in you must admit a small fashion, but Ruburt was afraid that otherwise you would retreat.