“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

The search for truth in the beginning was carried on within the framework of the church. In a way he was rewarded for conventional thought, and punished for unconventional thought. His poetry was accepted and praised artistically, when the ideas agreed with dogma.

The church was a support in the household against his mother. When the poetry was thus criticized, Ruburt was afraid the support would be withdrawn. The thoughts were considered extremely dangerous. They were not treated lightly. To some extent Ruburt equates me with a more knowledgeable Father Traynor.

The search for truth and the fear of leading people astray are the primary points here. In the past any intuitive thoughts he felt but could not prove were put into his fiction. This protected him from censure, both from within and without.

This was because he had for one thing watched what he thought of as the two faces of Father Doran, who conned others in his preaching then showed quite opposing characteristics afterward. The quality of the material itself often kept him from admitting this feeling. The experience at the writer’s convention also had an affect there, plus the young psychologist’s remarks later—all of this accepted because of the inferiority feelings of childhood.

Intellectually he changed his views. Intuitively he went ahead. The clash with the emotional aspects occurred only when a system of thought seemed formulated that would oppose the early emotional views.

Because they were formed at a time before the intellectual and intuitive abilities developed, and were not a problem until the intellectual and intuitive abilities seemed to come upon a system of thought that was in opposition to the underlying emotional beliefs. Until then there was no conflict.

Keeping the church, he could always return to it. Setting up a new system of thought that he considered in opposition would make this impossible. You do have more to work with than you realize once this is understood though, for there are also strong emotional drives toward the desire for truth that can be allied with the early released ones—but these must be released and understood first.