“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

Now we will have a relatively brief session, but I would like to give you some important immediate points to work on—not (humorously) that I did not give you enough the other evening.

Loving encouragement will work. Because of the material given the other evening, and Ruburt’s own background, this is what happened in the past: he would manage to show some improvement as your attitude became more loving. He was still looking for signs that you meant the change—do you follow me?

When you showed impatience with his progress it was sometimes a natural impatience, and sometimes Nebene’s dissatisfaction with a student who should, with those abilities, do better. Ruburt would indeed perceive withering looks on such occasions. Neither of you properly understood your own reactions. But Ruburt would immediately panic.

After all, you did (underlined) disapprove. You were not pleased with his performance, he was not living up to your expectations. He equated then a normal physical performance, from the standpoint of his condition, as an impossible perfect performance, while feeling that nothing short of perfection would please you.

I am bringing this out so that you understand, both of you. You would insist he overreacted, that no one should be that suggestible. He would think of the abject label again, have no use for himself, and think the whole thing useless. If at the same time you seemed overly critical—to him, now—of a manuscript, say, or his missing sessions, then it seemed approval was denied him from the one person whose integrity he trusted.

The stimuli encountered outside will automatically meet response and bring up other reasons for going out. The stimuli now is very limited. Once he is in stores for example the urge to buy is renewed. The mind automatically turns to things it would like.

Both of you had to acquiesce to some extent in the situation. He did not choose for example a way of action, even physically, that would go against your style of life or ideas, but cleverly wove these into ideas you both initially deeply believed in. when you were working particularly at Artistic, you could not say he was out gadding around and not using his abilities. There he was in his chair. He could not leave it.

In the main he felt that you would have even less use for him, that you valued individual independence, and the pride of making it alone too much.

The car lost, was lost—no coincidence any more than your behavior during the flood. You know you chose the situation. It is important that a new car be purchased as soon as possible. He felt that the last one was purchased by you in order to reach your parents, begrudgingly, that you would not have purchased a “new one” for him for example.

This has its roots with the Lincoln—you follow me—and later when you did not offer to pick him up at nursery school, and told him in the same situation you would have too much pride to accept a ride.

The whole thing boils down to the fact that he thought and felt you would not help him, but demand that he use his own abilities and help himself independently of you. You held his arm once as he crossed a busy street, in, I believe, Cobbleskill, and he never forgot it. At other times you would say “Be careful,” impatiently, “Watch where you are going. Don’t you see that car,” when he simply could not turn that quickly, and was terrified. There were other occasions when you held his arm and helped him and he remembers each one.

He is deeply ashamed to have you see him go down stairs, because he fears your disapproval. He is afraid you will see him as he is, then, and wash your hands of such imperfection. For you to offer to help him would be of great benefit on the stairs when no one is around.

Now. Some of these extreme reactions on Ruburt’s part were brought about by his psychic understanding of Nebene, so he could not adequately communicate with you. If you reacted as Nebene you would later rationalize the results to him—while he would know in that (underlined) instance he was not projecting so he could not trust his reactions toward you.

Your explanation of a Nebene reaction would be so reasonable, later. You could not understand his insistence that you gave him a withering (underlined) look, but he felt it with the vehemence behind it. Against that he became vehement himself, stubborn, and determined to fight in you a quality that on the other hand he did not honestly think you possessed.

This put him on guard so that he would then often misinterpret ordinary remarks that you made. Had the two of you not let your own communication lag, such misunderstandings would not have occurred.