“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

I am bringing this out so that you understand, both of you. You would insist he overreacted, that no one should be that suggestible. He would think of the abject label again, have no use for himself, and think the whole thing useless. If at the same time you seemed overly critical—to him, now—of a manuscript, say, or his missing sessions, then it seemed approval was denied him from the one person whose integrity he trusted.

The car lost, was lost—no coincidence any more than your behavior during the flood. You know you chose the situation. It is important that a new car be purchased as soon as possible. He felt that the last one was purchased by you in order to reach your parents, begrudgingly, that you would not have purchased a “new one” for him for example.

I am mentioning these. Some are details. They are important. If you or Nebene ever thought that objective details were important then see how important Ruburt thinks subjective ones area. You lit cigarettes for him, particularly when you were in public, but you did not open the car door unless he asked you, or reminded you when that hurt or humiliated him.

Lighting his own cigarette in public was the one wild gesture of independence he allowed himself because you made such a point of lighting it for him. He was saying “In big things where I need help you often refuse to help, and your help is a gesture as when you light my cigarette, when I can do that myself.” So if Nebene is a stickler for details and carries grudges, so did our friend.

The whole thing boils down to the fact that he thought and felt you would not help him, but demand that he use his own abilities and help himself independently of you. You held his arm once as he crossed a busy street, in, I believe, Cobbleskill, and he never forgot it. At other times you would say “Be careful,” impatiently, “Watch where you are going. Don’t you see that car,” when he simply could not turn that quickly, and was terrified. There were other occasions when you held his arm and helped him and he remembers each one.

He is deeply ashamed to have you see him go down stairs, because he fears your disapproval. He is afraid you will see him as he is, then, and wash your hands of such imperfection. For you to offer to help him would be of great benefit on the stairs when no one is around.

Now I bid you a good evening—and there are still other sessions that both of you can read to your advantage. (Meaning deleted ones.)