“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

His methods worked very well in the transcription of his records, and purified his translations. He was afraid that spontaneity would cause him to color certain transcriptions from the past. His methods did not work nearly as well in person-to-person contact with his students, however.

The dilemma was, here now, between truth—a literal translation of ancient records—or a creative approach which could lead to falsification, so he was highly suspicious of the creativity in himself. Through discipline he thought that he had this suspicious creativity well in hand. He feared that his students would not have the same kind of integrity. He was therefore very severe in dealing with originality on the part of his students, considering it, again, a threat. He was indeed a taskmaster.

In this life you equated your own creativity with danger, now, to some degree. In the first place your father’s creativity, his inventions, brought him no recognition, no money in your mother’s terms. The creativity in your mother simply erupted in emotional tantrums, also dangerous and unproductive. You nicely channeled your creativity into comics, where it was socially acceptable and would also bring recognition in the terms of your society—cash.

Here Nebene within you rushed to your aid. He was appalled that your ability, while disciplined, lacked the intent and purpose, the search for truth and meaning, he felt being adulterated. Ruburt, with high youthful ideals, a strong sense of purpose, then came into the picture. He was accepted by you and by Nebene. Nebene felt the purpose would save your abilities.

He had already spoken within you, rousing you to dissatisfaction. Ruburt, who had led him astray in the past, would now lead you into high purpose and dedication. The two of you, Ruburt and Joseph, had already made agreements, as you know. Nebene however carried a grudge as Ruburt does, or rather now as Jane does. Ruburt does not carry grudges.

Nebene, while thankful to Jane, quickly let other aspects enter in once you had safely decided upon painting rather than comics, which were to him degrading. He was then afraid that Ruburt’s spontaneity would divert you from the course that it had set you upon, so he began to take a stronger hand.

Part of the stronger hand also had to do with his attempts to help you with your family, to shut you off from too much distracting emotion, when for example you moved back to Sayre after New York. Ruburt however reacted most vehemently against this shutdown of emotional reaction. He felt then the force that was Nebene. Now at times his own overly-conscientious portions would agree quite heartily with Nebene’s dictates. Because of his psychic abilities he picked up these qualities quite accurately. They would often seem so different from your own actions at a given time that he became highly confused, and distrusted his own reactions.

At a completely different level of course Nebene and Sharabena—do not ask for spelling now—understood each other quite well, and she would taunt him. Now regardless of what interpretations Ruburt wants to put upon what I am saying, whether or not he wants to accept the reincarnation influence, the fact is that what I am saying has a psychological reality that neither of you can deny, and one that acts constantly in your lives.

Now I must speak through Ruburt. I cannot therefore run willy-nilly without regard for his own psychological workings. On some occasions therefore his fears, and defense of you, would prevent excellent material, and at other times his fierce defense of himself would prevent it.

The Nebene characteristics came particularly to the fore in the transcription of my book of course, and with the encounter with your friend Sue. Nebene was furious that Ruburt would not speak for him. Nebene wanted to speak through Ruburt, knowing his abilities, and Ruburt refused.

He felt much time wasted, but held off, seeing if an absence from sessions would help his health. He had also resented the coercion that Nebene implied. Nebene was upset because of this own sense of purpose. Ruburt knew this but would no longer give sessions because he felt forced to.

Nebene has learned a thing or two. He was certain that given the chance Ruburt would throw the sessions over gladly. He did not trust Ruburt’s overall consistency, you see. Part of the symptoms these last months have arisen and continued because of these ambiguities.

Now I will tell you that Ruburt’s Josef, in Seven, is a very good approximation of another quite different life of yours, in which the emotions were given the fullest of sway—and you also have those characteristics to draw upon. They were warm, exuberant. Using them, and you do have them, you would have no difficulty in relating emotionally in the way I suggested. In helping Ruburt in this manner, you see, you automatically release portions of your own personality and abilities that have been repressed, and that is a portion of the whole situation.

Now, let me add several important points, covered earlier. First of all I have given you many sessions looking at the problem from different aspects. The suggestions given, all of them, followed consistently—and none of them were—would have led you through channels of understanding culminating in Ruburt’s recovery. Added therefore to reasons given this evening are such issues given earlier, as a concentration upon negatives, and the methods given earlier to counter those will also be of help.