“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

He saw in his time how so-called mysticism and even dedication, without discipline, could divert energy, distort truths and pervert causes. He was well aware that high energy could be lost through dissipation. He dammed his own up, letting it out only in the deep but narrow channel of his interest. He had little use for spontaneity. He was afraid of it.

The Nebene within you however was quite certain that they must also be disciplined, kept within bounds and watched carefully. The same applied to your own creative abilities, where for some time a divergence from a literal pictorial illustration was felt to be wrong, or off. Some other personal information that I gave you concerning your relationship with your father this time also fits in here.

This is in your life as Nebene. Let us get to the details in our time. You died, I believe, shortly after the time of Christ—that is, somewhere between 35 and 50 AD.

It was emotional, unrestrained, given to orgies. You were unresistingly drawn to it, the power of your inhibited tendencies propelling you for release. So you had a secret life, unknown to your students for some time. It erupted suddenly at the age of 45 and ran for 10 years. You had no respect for yourself during that span.

Ruburt was 9 when this began, usual in those days incidentally. (I was surprised at the age, etc.) For some time in your relationship in this life, Nebene provided you with a framework to contain your own early emotions with your parents.

Part of the stronger hand also had to do with his attempts to help you with your family, to shut you off from too much distracting emotion, when for example you moved back to Sayre after New York. Ruburt however reacted most vehemently against this shutdown of emotional reaction. He felt then the force that was Nebene. Now at times his own overly-conscientious portions would agree quite heartily with Nebene’s dictates. Because of his psychic abilities he picked up these qualities quite accurately. They would often seem so different from your own actions at a given time that he became highly confused, and distrusted his own reactions.

Now I must speak through Ruburt. I cannot therefore run willy-nilly without regard for his own psychological workings. On some occasions therefore his fears, and defense of you, would prevent excellent material, and at other times his fierce defense of himself would prevent it.

A slap in the face to Nebene, saying “Aha, I am using my abilities as frivolously as I dare to, and you will get little more from me.” At the same time he also felt guilty and the book, Seven, is filled with purpose regardless.

Now Ruburt’s own background this time, with ideas of truth and falsehood, tied in beautifully with Nebene. Nebene was as determined to get the correct reincarnational details because they were in his terms true, as Ruburt was determined to avoid them because in his terms they were not true.

He felt much time wasted, but held off, seeing if an absence from sessions would help his health. He had also resented the coercion that Nebene implied. Nebene was upset because of this own sense of purpose. Ruburt knew this but would no longer give sessions because he felt forced to.

Therefore there was little consistent attempt made to reassure Ruburt’s emotional nature, or reach it on an emotional or physical level. Instead you used reason. Secondly, the conflict over sessions: Ruburt himself felt he was wasting time on the one hand, and on the other was refusing to be coerced.

Now. Your ideas of personality and time dictated your question.

Understanding then, you can use the abilities as you want. Before, they seemed to have an energy of their own, almost at times not a part of you, and Nebene experienced his own creativity as equally apart from him at times.