“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

First, we will begin with Nebene. He was a man of the strongest purpose, high dedication, a severe perfectionist who drove himself and his students. He was a mystic, but a mystic given to great discipline, denial, restraint. He inhibited many of his strongest drives in order to focus them upon his search and the work to which he was committed.

His methods worked very well in the transcription of his records, and purified his translations. He was afraid that spontaneity would cause him to color certain transcriptions from the past. His methods did not work nearly as well in person-to-person contact with his students, however.

The dilemma was, here now, between truth—a literal translation of ancient records—or a creative approach which could lead to falsification, so he was highly suspicious of the creativity in himself. Through discipline he thought that he had this suspicious creativity well in hand. He feared that his students would not have the same kind of integrity. He was therefore very severe in dealing with originality on the part of his students, considering it, again, a threat. He was indeed a taskmaster.

It was emotional, unrestrained, given to orgies. You were unresistingly drawn to it, the power of your inhibited tendencies propelling you for release. So you had a secret life, unknown to your students for some time. It erupted suddenly at the age of 45 and ran for 10 years. You had no respect for yourself during that span.