“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

It was emotional, unrestrained, given to orgies. You were unresistingly drawn to it, the power of your inhibited tendencies propelling you for release. So you had a secret life, unknown to your students for some time. It erupted suddenly at the age of 45 and ran for 10 years. You had no respect for yourself during that span.

Ruburt was 9 when this began, usual in those days incidentally. (I was surprised at the age, etc.) For some time in your relationship in this life, Nebene provided you with a framework to contain your own early emotions with your parents.

In this life you equated your own creativity with danger, now, to some degree. In the first place your father’s creativity, his inventions, brought him no recognition, no money in your mother’s terms. The creativity in your mother simply erupted in emotional tantrums, also dangerous and unproductive. You nicely channeled your creativity into comics, where it was socially acceptable and would also bring recognition in the terms of your society—cash.

Part of the stronger hand also had to do with his attempts to help you with your family, to shut you off from too much distracting emotion, when for example you moved back to Sayre after New York. Ruburt however reacted most vehemently against this shutdown of emotional reaction. He felt then the force that was Nebene. Now at times his own overly-conscientious portions would agree quite heartily with Nebene’s dictates. Because of his psychic abilities he picked up these qualities quite accurately. They would often seem so different from your own actions at a given time that he became highly confused, and distrusted his own reactions.

Now your (underlined) main failure in dealing with Ruburt is an emotional one. You cannot reason with the part of him who felt hurt deeply, or to the part that felt he was rejected. In your attempts to explain yourself in the main, now, you have tried to use logic and reason, when it was as I told you before a feeling of being deprived emotionally. He did not feel deprived intellectually.

You must reach him on the one level that you have been frightened of, through honest expressed emotional feeling, and again as I have told you often, through physical touch. I gave several sessions on that subject alone. The emotions and the physical body are so iterrelated that one automatically affects the other. Ruburt needs to be reassured on an emotional and physical level.

He felt insulted on those levels. You have quite carefully avoided them in your attempts to clear up the problems. The muscles themselves cry out to be soothed, and the physical touch, the relaxation of muscle, brings about an emotional release. An emotional release brings about a muscular one.

Therefore there was little consistent attempt made to reassure Ruburt’s emotional nature, or reach it on an emotional or physical level. Instead you used reason. Secondly, the conflict over sessions: Ruburt himself felt he was wasting time on the one hand, and on the other was refusing to be coerced.

He also felt that you had already disapproved of Seth Speaks, not understanding the Nebene connection. Take your break. Incidentally, it is also Nebene who cannot understand why Ruburt’s emotional nature cannot be reached intellectually.

Now I will tell you that Ruburt’s Josef, in Seven, is a very good approximation of another quite different life of yours, in which the emotions were given the fullest of sway—and you also have those characteristics to draw upon. They were warm, exuberant. Using them, and you do have them, you would have no difficulty in relating emotionally in the way I suggested. In helping Ruburt in this manner, you see, you automatically release portions of your own personality and abilities that have been repressed, and that is a portion of the whole situation.

For other reasons, for one because Josef was undisciplined, you have not spontaneously given expression to that portion of you. To help your wife you can do so. I want you to know therefore that such emotional behavior is a part of your nature. I am dealing with your end of the stick this evening because I had been blocked in the past from doing so, and the information is so pertinent.

The emotional qualities will also help your own work, of course. Both of you will be freer with your feelings, and in communicating them. Now this is enough for this evening. Do you have a particular question?