“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

First, we will begin with Nebene. He was a man of the strongest purpose, high dedication, a severe perfectionist who drove himself and his students. He was a mystic, but a mystic given to great discipline, denial, restraint. He inhibited many of his strongest drives in order to focus them upon his search and the work to which he was committed.

He saw in his time how so-called mysticism and even dedication, without discipline, could divert energy, distort truths and pervert causes. He was well aware that high energy could be lost through dissipation. He dammed his own up, letting it out only in the deep but narrow channel of his interest. He had little use for spontaneity. He was afraid of it.

The dilemma was, here now, between truth—a literal translation of ancient records—or a creative approach which could lead to falsification, so he was highly suspicious of the creativity in himself. Through discipline he thought that he had this suspicious creativity well in hand. He feared that his students would not have the same kind of integrity. He was therefore very severe in dealing with originality on the part of his students, considering it, again, a threat. He was indeed a taskmaster.

The Nebene within you however was quite certain that they must also be disciplined, kept within bounds and watched carefully. The same applied to your own creative abilities, where for some time a divergence from a literal pictorial illustration was felt to be wrong, or off. Some other personal information that I gave you concerning your relationship with your father this time also fits in here.

Here Nebene within you rushed to your aid. He was appalled that your ability, while disciplined, lacked the intent and purpose, the search for truth and meaning, he felt being adulterated. Ruburt, with high youthful ideals, a strong sense of purpose, then came into the picture. He was accepted by you and by Nebene. Nebene felt the purpose would save your abilities.