“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

The unacceptable conscious problem therefore collects great charges of correlated emotional feelings that also go unexpressed. The summer that Ruburt was better, he began writing down his feelings and thoughts. That helped release some of them, did therefore release him consciously, and lead directly to his later writing.

They were not worked through, however, and he stopped the practice. Unknowingly you were working on the two levels given in my last session, through suggestion, building self-confidence while Ruburt wrote out his gripes and conscious thoughts. Until he produced Seven, however, he would not really consider facing the dilemma. Seven was the novel that showed him he could (underlined) write fiction.

Adventures served as the vehicle that brought to light many of his feelings against the psychic field, or rather his part as he saw it in it. It was necessary and served a purpose. One purpose was his realization that such a book, for now, even at his best, with personal orientation, was not his cup of tea. Much of the material in it later will be published.

The cold and the jaw difficulty—both of these were his physical interpretation of a growing crisis that had to be faced. He was ready to face the problem, to bring it out into the open, and the whole issue was finally brought out into the open through those symptoms. The critical period is over because of his recognition of the problem and his determination to face and solve it.

(9:30.) Certain ideas he has now are in a stage of transition still, a necessary stage. The tooth was meant to get his attention, to make him realize the importance of acting now. There will be no more great trouble with it. In a few days it will have completely disappeared. It is of great importance now however that he write down his thoughts as begun each day. It is not that he need concentrate on negative ideas. These are normal feelings and thoughts that gained such charge only because they were collected about the unfaced dilemma; whether or not he could make it on his own, or could afford the opportunity to try.

They must therefore be duly faced each day until they normally diminish into normal daily concern. Do not forget, in whatever way you choose to use it, the importance of reinforcing his sense of worth, despite what he does. The charge built up, for him (underlined) about time and work, is masking of course his fear of not achieving as he wants to. This is aside from normal practical considerations of time.

In two days Ruburt has become more aware of his problems consciously, and made connections that had (underlined) to be made. Future psychic work was also dependent upon a (in quotes) “correct” decision on his part.

(Tam wrote Jane on January 2, 1973, asking for some material on his dream of the night before. In distorted form he picked up that Jane and I had decided on January 2 that Adventures in Consciousness would not be written or contracted; that in daytime working hours Jane was to go full steam ahead on her own writing, etc. Jane called him on the morning of the second of January. [Copy sent to Tam on January 12, 1973, of this portion.])

The dream was not simply Tam’s dramatization of a message sent by Ruburt, yet dramatization was involved. Ruburt acted out his ideas of a conventional medium for Tam, who in a dream state perceived Ruburt’s dramatization.

Tell him I am smiling, but I am telling him to trust himself and not look to others for readings. They will only confuse him. He will be connected with Seven and a movie. Some of his later writing will deal with me, with Ruburt’s class, but in ways he does not suspect. I have great affection for him. His dream work will (underlined) show fruits, and he and Ruburt are involved in dreams together, though they do not recognize themselves in those dreams.

The fear then colored his other attitudes and reactions. His fear of the tooth pain was a physical interpretation of his fear of facing the dilemma, the pain of bringing it out into the open. Then he found it was not as bad as he thought—he could operate anyway, and amazingly well, as in class (ESP) last evening.

The class was important. (As Jane said also.) Because he now decided to do his own thing also, he was free to do his psychic thing also—hence today the out-of-body experiments conducted. (Quite successfully.) Once he saw himself simply (underlined) as a psychic, he became prey to all of the conventional psychic ideas, afraid of the sexual-demon characteristics connected with out-of-bodies, for example.

Seeing himself doing his own thing short-circuits such unnecessary reactions. The experiments conducted unconsciously also spread energy through the physical body where it was needed, and was therapeutic.

He had to realize his fear and his terrible dilemma in regard to Eleanor because it showed in concentrated form his own fear about his being able to succeed on his own, hence his dependence, that made him resent Eleanor. He had to work through that resentment.

He felt it as a threat, rightly, while he was afraid to use his writing abilities in other forms, as he must. Only then will the true unity be apparent to him.

Now. You did not feel free to do your own thing until Ruburt felt free to do his, because you felt he was helping out so financially. This is at one level.