“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

Now. I could not force Ruburt to face the dilemma until he felt he was ready to handle it—then he would see it as he does, now, as a challenge. All the other reasons given fit in. They were behind the reasons that he did not feel he could face the dilemma, but they partially masked it, also.

Now you have also been afraid that you could not do your own thing on your (underlined) own, so you acquiesced to the situation. You understood, though you would not face your understanding. Ruburt’s dilemma was quite clear to you. You felt you could not push him until he was ready.

He felt it as a threat, rightly, while he was afraid to use his writing abilities in other forms, as he must. Only then will the true unity be apparent to him.

Now. You did not feel free to do your own thing until Ruburt felt free to do his, because you felt he was helping out so financially. This is at one level.

You were highly impatient, then. At the same time you knew that once you did commercial work for money as a young man, quite happily. It fulfilled definite needs. At any level of your artistic development thus far, you could have cashed in with some application, and been, you felt, betrayed by money and acclaim as a certain level of development.

You felt it would be such (underlined) a temptation that you might give in. All the time you realized that your proper way necessitated deeper understandings, and held out.