“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(Late yesterday afternoon my pendulum told me that Jane’s symptoms stemmed from her feeling that she had failed to become a successful “straight” writer—a novelist, poet, essayist, et al.; that she felt she had failed as the serious writer she had always dreamed of becoming, that the psychic work represented a turning down a wrong path; that actually, basically, the psychic work represented failure to her rather than success. I was very excited by these ideas, more excited than I had been in a long time. I intuitively felt them to be true. I discussed them for some little while with her before we went out to a New Year’s Eve party at McClure’s. Jane seemed to agree with the ideas.

For some time Ruburt felt he was a failure, as a wife and as a writer. He did not see you succeeding, either. Conditions mentioned far earlier made communication difficult, and he brooded. The mobility, the point of mobility, represented moving ahead in his work, or not moving ahead. The apartment became a symbol. It was quite all right for the aspiring writer. If however he could not achieve the kind of success he wanted, then he might as well have the trappings.

The creativity was in the sessions. Because he felt a responsibility to the work, and because of another publication—a hardcover book—he consented to The Seth Material. The “acclaim” (in quotes) of a tour helped revive him initially, and he began ideas of a novel.

It had a psychic basis. Tam wanted another psychic book. Ruburt objected enough to refuse to do a series like the Cayce books, but tried to compromise with the Dream/Seth book, which also involved him with the typing of records. You needed the money, he felt.

He tried to do a narrative, and use for example descriptive abilities—a valiant attempt to do two different things in one book. Before all of this, as the very first symptoms began, before the ESP book, he was already deeply frightened by the novel rejections, the Playboy rejections after they raised his hopes, the poetry book acceptance that fell through with Continental, and what he felt to be your joint deteriorating relationship.

At the same time he began to doubt his writing abilities. Perhaps he had overjudged his talents. Following The Seth Material, requests came that showed quite clearly he was regarded as a psychic. Psychics helped people. I told him to stay away from spiritualistic groups. He has a strong sense of responsibility and loyalty. He avoided being a “psychic personality” (in quotes) in grand terms. I am digressing here to bring you another issue: the strong responsibility he always felt toward his writing ability, he naturally felt toward the psychic ability—but without the necessary sense of discrimination, since he didn’t realize what such activities involved.

You were involved in his attitudes. He felt (long pause at 9 PM) that he had no right to try to do “creative” (in quotes) work that might not pay. He felt also that you were jealous of his own writing, but not of the psychic work, this being further in the past.

He was between books, just having money from Seth Speaks. There were several things you had still not learned, however, that you have now learned. The relationship would be very good, then, but some old characteristic responses of ours would occur now and then, and frighten him. He began to move toward a new contract, which meant Adventures, he felt, rather than Rich Bed.

Seven was the answer, but only if Seven led where it was supposed to lead. In the meantime there was the matter of a tour, or not, for Seth Speaks, and speaking engagements. He felt that if he accepted and became known as a psychic, in those terms, his chances of becoming known as a writer were lost, and beyond recovery. He would be pigeon-holed as a psychic. It was for those reasons that his improvement deteriorated.

He also felt that if you were a success as an artist he could write what he damned pleased, hid that anger, and felt extremely disloyal.

Our books will continue. He felt trapped and saw no way out. Even now he is afraid of turning down the money of letting that much work go, but he finally sees that that is his answer.

There are other elements not particularly mentioned in the background, but they are not crucial points. He felt he had lost his direction. Spontaneously feeling free to write what he wants to will also release him psychically.