“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(At a quick scan I thought the ideas answered all the questions we’d had about the symptoms over the years—explaining, for instance, their onset before the psychic developments, etc. They seemed to offer a unified theory to cover the years of our marriage, and even Jane’s childhood. I saw at once that if valid they also meant Jane must shelve her projected book, Adventures in Consciousness, and concentrate on things like Rich Bed, the Dialogues (poetry), and, perhaps, let Seth do his own thing in sessions. If this included writing books, okay. But crisis time was here, and something had to be done. I was somewhat puzzled that I hadn’t asked my pendulum this specific set of questions before—or had I? If I had, perhaps I hadn’t understood the answers, I thought; because certainly no action had been taken because of them, along the lines now contemplated....

(I was quite surprised the other day when Jane told me that our two apartments were okay to her if she was a writer, but not all right for a psychic—especially one who was becoming well known and was visited by all kinds of people, etc. She also told me that to her the idea of stairs represented success and failure—up and down, etc.)

He is quite correct in saying (today) he denied to some extent an important aspect (of himself). The problem was in consciously hiding the conflicts from himself, and in deciding upon a status quo. Status quos can never be maintained to begin with. Some of this should be clear, and is, I know, but we will put it together, and I will clear some issues for you.

The ESP book was meant to be a book—one book. In the beginning he did not want to publish the material, if you recall. Not because he did not like the material, but because then, at least, he understood that for him (underlined) assembling it during his creative hours was not fulfilling his kind of creative need.

It had a psychic basis. Tam wanted another psychic book. Ruburt objected enough to refuse to do a series like the Cayce books, but tried to compromise with the Dream/Seth book, which also involved him with the typing of records. You needed the money, he felt.

At the same time he began to doubt his writing abilities. Perhaps he had overjudged his talents. Following The Seth Material, requests came that showed quite clearly he was regarded as a psychic. Psychics helped people. I told him to stay away from spiritualistic groups. He has a strong sense of responsibility and loyalty. He avoided being a “psychic personality” (in quotes) in grand terms. I am digressing here to bring you another issue: the strong responsibility he always felt toward his writing ability, he naturally felt toward the psychic ability—but without the necessary sense of discrimination, since he didn’t realize what such activities involved.

You were involved in his attitudes. He felt (long pause at 9 PM) that he had no right to try to do “creative” (in quotes) work that might not pay. He felt also that you were jealous of his own writing, but not of the psychic work, this being further in the past.

He was between books, just having money from Seth Speaks. There were several things you had still not learned, however, that you have now learned. The relationship would be very good, then, but some old characteristic responses of ours would occur now and then, and frighten him. He began to move toward a new contract, which meant Adventures, he felt, rather than Rich Bed.

Initially there was great enthusiasm with both, but Rich Bed was his baby and Adventures a method of learning and an initial way of releasing pent-up creative energy. It had a purpose, and has. It meant however more creative time spent in examining (underlined) the psychic experience. At the same time he hoped Tam would take Rich Bed, knowing he wouldn’t. Unconsciously Tam sensed that dilemma, as he senses this one. Seven was the answer. In the meantime your being home also meant that he was face to face with you. You could see his condition, and as given earlier he tried to hide from you at times most of all.

Seven was the answer, but only if Seven led where it was supposed to lead. In the meantime there was the matter of a tour, or not, for Seth Speaks, and speaking engagements. He felt that if he accepted and became known as a psychic, in those terms, his chances of becoming known as a writer were lost, and beyond recovery. He would be pigeon-holed as a psychic. It was for those reasons that his improvement deteriorated.

Now, the stairs represent going up and down on a treadmill, and getting nowhere. He seemed unable to move in any direction. This had to do with your apartment, which actually suited him fine for some time. But other dissatisfactions not faced were projected there also, and exaggerated, while there seemed to be nothing he could do about it.

Ruburt’s personality is not one that can be held down to specific instances, but (is one) to evolve theories that can be used by many.

As you suspect, there is no conflict between the psychic and creative with him, but he did fear from the beginning that his own work would be swallowed. This has not proven true, for many reasons, some having to do with development.

The full blossoming could not have come much earlier, but his rage did not take that into account.

He well knew at times that Adventures was in part a ruse to content him, and assure him of a contract while I began my book, but he is afraid of taking the plunge on his own now. He was also afraid that you would be angry.

(Discovering this on the way to Sayre, I pulled into the near empty parking lot of the shopping center on Elmira Street and gave Jane my own pendulum to use. We learned that her sinuses were involved in her jaw ache, and Bill Macdonnel, but also that she was strongly concerned about the acceptance of Rich Bed by Eleanor Friede of Macmillan. Jane’s jaw began to clear up as we drove through the countryside beyond East Athens.)

Ruburt’s condition deteriorated after the meeting with Eleanor. The situation brought into focus, you see, the entire problem. Seagull’s middle-aged lady focused it further. (Bach’s description of Jane for Time.) The middle-aged lady was mentioned as middle-aged, and as a psychic, poet and science fiction writer—a turning of the ways in that the psychic books were mentioned, but no books of poetry, which gave impetus to Dialogues.

Eleanor held out the bait of Rich Bed’s publication. Ruburt wanted to plunge into it, but was afraid to not take the money for Adventures instead—hence the same problem in new and more dangerous form.

Most of this was very conscious at various times, but your view of suburbia (when we went house hunting with a realtor the other day) helped to bring it into focus. Ruburt will use his creative ability in fiction yet, in a way that he could not have otherwise, to bring home the reality and dimension of human personality.

Our books will continue. He felt trapped and saw no way out. Even now he is afraid of turning down the money of letting that much work go, but he finally sees that that is his answer.

Each individual has within him guidelines meant to lead him in the ways best for him. You cannot compare yourselves with others. Ruburt’s own feelings therefore are those guidelines. They may be different at various times, but they can be trusted. Ruburt’s creative ability is his for a reason. It was meant to be used, as well as his psychic abilities were.

They do indeed, but transformations in them would occur. Your lack of communication was important, and aggravated the problem.

There are other elements not particularly mentioned in the background, but they are not crucial points. He felt he had lost his direction. Spontaneously feeling free to write what he wants to will also release him psychically.

(“When I used the pendulum Sunday afternoon and found out about the reasons for Jane’s symptoms, it seemed like I’d asked questions like that before; but nothing happened, there weren’t any results—”)

Because neither of you were willing to take the chance earlier, nor did you feel financially secure enough to do so. You were both willing to put up with the situation. The idea of physically moving automatically brought these issues into the light, and you helped Ruburt immensely. He would never have tried completely to write the book, but he could have struggled nearly halfway through—

I do indeed. But both of you had to acquiesce, you see, or for him it would not have worked.