“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

You need, first of all, to develop some of your abilities in a purposeful manner. You are not using them. You are playing with them, but not using them as you want to. The organizational part of yourself wants you to organize yourself, and so far you have not done this.

Begin to play music that you like. Listen to the rain. Do not “just listen,” but allow yourself to be open to the different pattering sounds and sound patterns that the rain makes. Become fascinated with the behaviors of sound. Tell yourself that sound is like light; that it is easily available.

You are denying yourself a certain joy in your own present femininity, and for several reasons. With some purpose, you see to it that you are not as attractive physically as you know you are. You play down your attributes, rather than dress them up. You have been worried about and afraid of the feminine aspects of your personality. Now some of this has to do with the situation that did exist between you and your husband, and to some extent with the situation as it now exists. There is a free and easy flow of communication that is wordless, that you block.

Now. You can be a very attractive woman, and you can fix your hair; you can play up your attributes, and you know it. This will automatically, you see, change the situation, for you will not change the physical aspects unless an inner recognition has first led you to do so. You will feel the richer for it, emotionally richer for it, regardless of your husband’s reaction.

([Mary:] “Should I do anything specific to, like, go to the Old Ladies’ Home and play the piano for them?”)