“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

Now. As far as your fears are concerned, in your periods of depression, you feel that you have not used your abilities in a “responsible” way. You feel that therefore, you cannot “pat yourself on the back.” You feel to some extent like a hypocrite because in, I believe, New Jersey, at least before you moved here, you spoke of your writing but you did not work with it in an organized fashion. You did not direct it.

In periods of depression you feel that your life, the main points, have passed, and that you have lost time—important time that you feel you cannot recover. All of these fears work together to cause the present difficulty. Now. There is no one who can change your life for you. But you can change it. And in that lies your hope and your salvation. And so you must begin to do so. You are now organizing your life about your hearing defect. In the main, you are forcing others again to relate to you in that regard. You mention it often. You bring it into the conversation. When I tell you now, “often,” it would not otherwise be noticed, for you also exaggerate the extent of the hearing loss. I did not say there was not a loss. I am saying you are exaggerating the loss that there is.

Now. There is nothing degrading in tears. Think of them, again, now, as being as natural as rain that falls out of the sky when the clouds are full. The rain refreshes the ground and tears can refresh the soul when depressions are freed to follow their natural course. Then, indeed, they flow away in tears and the soul is refreshed. It does not “hold onto its grudges”. When you hold a grudge, you are like some angry, little black cloud that says: I will hold onto this moisture, and I will never let it go!” But clouds have better sense, and so easily they empty their contents and the rain refreshes the land. So can tears refresh the land of your psyche. And used in such a manner depressions fall away naturally and allow, if you will forgive me for a trite phrase, “the sun of joy to shine.” Otherwise, the cloud becomes blacker, and blacker and blacker until the sun cannot be seen, and until the sun, when glimpsed, seems wrong, out of context, and does not appear in such a dark landscape. And so you try to hide it.