“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

Now, before your husband became more willing to communicate, before he made an effort, you had fallen into your own rut. You did not try to relate to him in any strong manner. You let the relationship stand at a surface level. For a long time this served you both. Then, however, when you moved a critical situation was set up, where you were thrown together. This immediately brought forth the conflicts that had been latent and largely left alone. He then tried to relate to you. He did try to make up for lost time,and he began to grow and to understand.

I have told you what I think. The hearing, you see; the state of the hearing, is among other things a symbolic, physical statement of the lack of communication that has existed between you and your husband. Only now it is you who will not hear. That is not the only cause for the condition, however. The “habit” was set in the past when you “shut out” noise that you did not want to hear. You are in the habit of shutting out sound.

The money was also a symbol of communication as far as both of you were concerned. It was not the money, but your ideas about the money. And clashes that resulted.

the communication,

([Mary:] “Uh-huh. [Pause.] Do you think... I have a feeling; that things have started to change for the better in the last couple of weeks—in that regard—communication.”)

Every time you make a sincere effort—the two of you to communicate—then the situation will begin to improve.

You must be willing, however, to accept whatever comes of the communication. The first time it becomes unpleasant, you cannot, therefore, the next time say: “This time I will not hear”.

Now. Often, you use sound as a barrier. Also, you use monologs, and set up a barrier of sound to protect yourself from other people. And you do not realize that you do this. You erect barriers like walls—so that someone wanting to communicate with you cannot get through, cannot find a “hole” in your conversation to reach you. And the more nervous you are, the more frantically you erect this barrier of sound. You use sound as a barrier, therefore, and when you become doubly threatened, then you do not hear the sounds that come from without, but retreat from them. The entire “gestalt of sound” is therefore highly important to you in your “mechanism of survival”. You have used it to protect yourself, either erecting sound yourself to protect you from communications coming from without, or, when this fails, by refusing—refusing to hear. You must, therefore, ask yourself where this charged attitude toward sound originated, and why you use it in such a way. And I will give you some clues.

You mentioned some yourself. To you, noise, from your early years, was to be avoided. Sound did not convey pleasure. You were not thinking in terms of the communication of pleasure. It became, to you, a method of conveying unpleasant information, and therefore to be shut off whenever possible. You will find that if you begin to cultivate the pleasure of sound, this will help you.

Learn to speak easily and gently. You communicate easily and well in your writing because sound is not involved. The ability to communicate is yours, and you are highly gifted in that regard. You are simply dropping the communication on the sound level. Once you realize this and understand it, you can begin to relax in that regard.

You are denying yourself a certain joy in your own present femininity, and for several reasons. With some purpose, you see to it that you are not as attractive physically as you know you are. You play down your attributes, rather than dress them up. You have been worried about and afraid of the feminine aspects of your personality. Now some of this has to do with the situation that did exist between you and your husband, and to some extent with the situation as it now exists. There is a free and easy flow of communication that is wordless, that you block.