“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

You both do have an inclination to overstate your problems, and concentrate on them in an effort to solve them, and as you know that is not the answer. Ruburt should write in a personal diary if he prefers, but write his feelings several times a week. A half-hour at a time is fine, plus the effort to express any normally negative feelings at once.

Now, because it seemed to you for so long that you could not move freely in your own life, that you did not paint full time, you got in the habit of automatically viewing all change as negative. You could not do it anyway. To realize its possibilities therefore would have been a torment. So recognize that element and its reasons now.

The effort made in any creative change would be nothing compared to the constant feeling of unease that could result simply from a fear of change. In a fear of change there is only tumult, and no peace. As you know, it does no good to worry about the time you may sometimes feel was “wasted” (in quotes) in the past. Great damage can result however by projecting such feelings of time waste into the future.

Do not compare your [joint] position with anyone. It is unique. Because it is, the possibilities are endless. If you magnify your limitations you create your own prisons. If you enjoy those freedoms that are yours now, you automatically increase them. You are in a clear position at this moment. You cannot expect a blissful time innocent of problems. That is not the nature of life or of existence.

Emphasis should not be on performance but on expression, and Ruburt particularly encouraged to express all feelings, no matter how ambiguous. There are natural results, activations of hormones, quite necessary, that are released at such times that greatly benefit the system. The ambiguous feelings must be expressed. The drive, when it shows itself as last evening, is often irritating because the muscles and nerves connected have been so held back, instead of a clear flow of sexual energy then.

At one time when communication was poor, he tried to use your moments of tenderness as opportunities to tell you his worries. It seemed to him then (underlined) the only time. This turned you off romantically. The less open communication you had, the more he seized that opportunity to speak.

With all of his repressions, love-making became the most loaded time, for in a moment of weakness he feared he might spill out his feelings about your job and all the other material that has come to light.