“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(This evening we sat waiting for a session, or whatever else might develop. Jane heard her mother’s deprecating, scathing voice, quoted it to me, and said she felt quite uneasy. She felt as though “different parts of me are casting about for the best way to give the material tonight—Seth, or some other part of me, whatever we decided. I even got the idea: Now here we have the body ‘kind of thing,’” she said.

I need freedom and agility of thought, where he tends to repress me unless I conform to definite ideas of good and wrong. I found the conscientious self then an uneasy partner, and a growing hindrance.

You know that panic is behind such repression, and a misguided idea of self protection. Inhibiting thoughts inevitably inhibit body motion. For his own benefit and mine, two or three times a week he should sit down and write out his feelings, as he began to do last summer. All kinds of repressions will come to the surface.

Quite unwittingly because of your own nature, you tilted the balance for a while. He picked up your ideas of discipline in the beginning, then latched upon them in his own way. He felt you did not trust his judgment, remembering what he thought of as key points in your life, when his judgment seemed wrong or when it was criticized.

(I told Jane I think that if it is not fed a steady diet of repressed material—which it may not even want—the conscientious or creative self is perfectly capable of doing its job without excesses. There will be no fears of unrestrained sexuality, or not working creatively, of overidealization of me, or my work, etc. All of these ideas, I feel, evidently grow out of repressed, unexpressed fears that have built up over the years, and have been taken over, or dumped upon, the conscientious and/or creative self.